operating instructions

2008-09-12T09:06:00.003+08:00

KLue Magazine, 1-15 July 2004.

Ha, look what I found while digging through my old files. Some URLs photoshopped out, because I sent this to my mother. I sure mati if my mother read what I got up to during NS.

2007-01-21T13:19:00.001+08:00

I haven't written in a long time. I didn't think anyone else would read the blog, but according to the little statistics thing for this blog, there are the occasional visits. Mostly the visits are for the Khidmat Negara entries, so I'll try to make this entry for those visitors.

The blog entries are arranged inconveniently - latest on top, and earliest at the bottom. For someone coming to the website and reading up on the National Service experience that I had (and if things are still the same: reading up on what to expect), it's inconvenient. This website will stay, of course - but I'll add a prominent link to my other website, where I'll host an easier-to-read version.

It's been a while since I was a 17 year old in National Service. I am now a 20 year old who will be turning 21 this March. Of the 9 girls I shared a tent with, I've only heard from 4 of them since the end of NS. Within the last year, only one, who is currently studying to be a doctor in an Indonesian university. As for the rest, I don't know. I hope they're doing well.

And where am I in my education? No bachelor's degree yet. Hopefully, a pharmacist within the next, oh, 50 years. Sure, sure, in Malaysia a pharmacist may be just "whatever" next to doctors and dentists, but pharmacists and optometrists are actually pretty prestigious here in the US. Almost the same program as medicine/dentistry.

The last thing I do for this blog, I think, will be to arrange the entries conveniently. Sometime soon. The entries are surely out-of-date and the program has surely changed, but maybe some might find it interesting.

2006-05-13T16:59:00.000+08:00

Ah, the wild world of silat. (Google video) I was more of a karate-do shotokan girl, though.

2006-03-25T14:51:00.000+08:00

I'm still alive. It's spring break now, and I just got over a horrible winter quarter. I took 30 units (a full load is between 12-18 units). It's possible, but it's just insane.

Things I've learned... they don't really apply to everyone, but they certainly apply to me! As follows:

1) If you passed a class the first time around (even if it's a C), don't bother retaking it. You'll rely on your previous knowledge instead of studying for it. Which won't improve your grade.
2) There's a reason why they put a cap on the number of units you're normally allowed to take. Overloading is insanity, unless you're a music major or taking easy classes. Overloading with Biology, Chemistry, Calculus, C++ Programming, Macroeconomics, Religion, and Music Appreciation is included in "insanity". Never again!

2005-12-29T09:59:00.000+08:00

I've been in the dorms for half a week now, for Christmas break. It's actually not that bad. The cafeteria opens once a day for about an hour, and has two-day-old sandwiches and overpriced drinks. No hope for breakfast or dinner - so I've been having brunch instead of breakfast/lunch. Dinner is skipped - and if I'm hungry during dinnertime, I steal from the kitchens. There's all kinds of packaged and microwaveable food in the dorm's community fridge. I feel like a common thief but what can you do when you're hungry and have no car.

2005-12-26T14:41:00.000+08:00

'Tis the season to be jolly - but I'm not. You know what, I don't even send out Christmas cards anymore. Used to be I'd blow a lot of money on stamps and cards.

I guess I don't care anymore. But I wish I did.

2005-12-12T14:39:00.001+08:00

My computer has been dying. I need a new battery. It's finals week, I have a paper due on Tuesday. The big one would be C++ Programming I on Tuesday. Biology on Thursday should be a yawner.

But! I haven't done anything yet. I really should be studying.

College in America is actually shaping up to be pretty okay. Apparently I sound Asian-ish in real life, but put on my "former"? American accent when answering the phone at my part-time job. I don't know! It all sounds the same to me!

And maybe I'm just unlucky, but I haven't met a single decent Maths teacher yet.

And if things shape up okay, I'll be off to school in Japan for a year, in Fall (september) 2007. You have no idea how much I want to go. Life, so far, has been very good to me.

2005-10-28T17:32:00.000+08:00

For one of my GE classes, the class was required to watch the old movie (hitam putih) Psycho by Alfred Hitchcock... or Albert Hitchcock? whateverlah. not really scary but... alamak.... boleh tahan lah. Now I get nervous when I'm dalam bilik mandi ahhahahahaha....... watch Psycho!!

2005-10-03T15:15:00.000+08:00

Lisa and I are now pakar at using kayu satay sebagai chopsticks... inilah what happens when dorm students tiada spoons or forks.

picking up a mushroom. satay sticks are actually easier to use than real chopsticks! betul ni!

2005-09-22T13:04:00.000+08:00

Wahahaha I just siap watch the premiere of Lost season 2!! Great show! Even though during the first few minutes, I was macam, Eh, apa ni, am I watching the right show? Macam shampoo commercial!

Very disturbing song: "Make your own kind of music, sing your own special song".

Wahhhh! ^_^

2005-09-17T20:31:00.000+08:00

(warning: shallow post. Not meant to be in the tone of "omg-like-totally")

Humph. The bad news is that I have come to realize that despite preferring long hair, short hair looks better on me. I hate having short hair, but it works.

The good news is that I just found out today that my hairstyle is exactly like Kadaj from the FFVII: Advent Children movie. Does this mean I'm trendy?

Fall quarter starts on Sept 26. Crap. The fact that I am now a sophomore should've made me more mature, but apparently it's not working. I don't want to go back to school!!

2005-09-07T10:39:00.000+08:00

Apparently, I'm living in a dangerous neighborhood, or just a semi-dangerous one. But ya, this place is kind of ghetto. Last night, my sister and I heard two gunshots, or something like it.

Right now I'm living in my university's senior undergraduate and graduate student apartments, for the summer ... because it's cheaper than the usual undergraduate dorms. Right now it's just me and my roommate from Samoa here. And just a while ago, an African couple (not African-American, but Africa-African) knocked on our door earlier, asking if we knew this Haitian guy who lived in the apartments.

"No."

Later they came back, and I answered the door again. The African woman asked to speak to "your Islander friend", so my roommate went to talk to her. The African woman then explained, she'd been looking for the Haitian guy because he's the one who supplies them with marijuana (or, as they call it in Asia: ganja), and they can't find them. "Do you have any smoke?" she asked my roommate.

My roommate said no, and the woman got a bit embarrassed and was all, "Oh, I mean, I have a lot of Polynesian friends, they smoke a lot ... I thought you'd have some."

2005-09-04T17:37:00.000+08:00

I'm back in Southern California now, one month before school starts - to continue with my job, and hopefully I'll get some money before school starts at the end of September. I arrived on Sunday afternoon, and went straight to work on Monday morning. (Yes, you can avoid jetlag, if you time your sleep on the plane.)

All right. New school year, new stuff to do. I am going to try to blog regularly, because I need a record of what I did, so I can keep the memories, or at least remember who borrowed my Sociology textbook.

I can't keep a paper diary because you won't believe the amount of stuff people in America can accumulate. I feel as if I'm throwing out 5 kilos of paper and junk every weekend. No paper diary, because I refuse to accumulate stuff. About time I put this blog to use.

Found this on the Internet, MalaysianTime.com. Tee hee! Fun stuff. Geniuses!! I wanted to post it here, but it kind of jammed up my page ... so go check it out!

2005-09-02T10:59:00.000+08:00

Narita airport, Tokyo

one of those famous Japanese vending machines

2005-09-02T10:57:00.000+08:00

Some adventures while travelling back to Southern California - display of dolls at Changi airport, Singapore

handmade by singaporean designers - the outfits, not the dolls

2005-07-16T09:54:00.000+08:00

I happened to watch the nighttime Diari for Akademi Fantasia 3 today.... (a girl whom I grew up with, is on the show... and is therefore the only reason why I watch the show.)..... and something really annoyed me. M Nasir was talking to Marsha and he was telling her, "You've got to learn to speak Bahasa Malaysia, to connect better with the fans."

Friggin' ignorant, man. What, only Semenanjung Malay is considered "Bahasa Malaysia"? The Sabahans and Sarawakians speak Malay, oh yes, but that isn't good enough to be considered Bahasa Malaysia, is it? Sound a bit too Indonesian, maybe? But I've asked quite a few Indonesians whether they think Sabahan Malay sounds even slightly Indonesian, and they always, always say No, it doesn't sound Indonesian at all. And ask Sabahans if they personally think they sound Indonesian, and you probably won't get any Yes answers.

Same thing happened in National Service, last year. Trainees from Semenanjung would say, "Oh, is that how things are like here? In Malaysia, we do it this way..." Often I'd feel like yelling, "If you're in Sabah, then you're still in Malaysia, duh!" but I could never bring myself to do it. And they would invariably say that before they came, they expected the place to be wilderness, people living in huts or trees and only eating sayur kangkung, rice cooked over a bonfire, or still-bloody barbecued meat from an animal you had to catch with your own hands.

My apologies to Semenanjung people I might offend. I'm sure there are many, many Semenanjung people more intelligent than those I've encountered. But for some reason, I've had the misfortune to only encounter those who consider Sabahans (and Sarawakians) to not be really Malaysian, or to consider them as being inferior Malaysians. Is that really what they think? Please, please prove me wrong.

2005-07-01T10:04:00.000+08:00

I'm in KK now, just to use the Internet at my bapa own tempat kerja. At home where got Internet oh... got lah, but where got berfungsi.

2005-06-14T10:39:00.000+08:00

I'm at my last stopover until I reach home - Changi airport in Singapore for about 17 hours. Ugh! 17 hours!

The stopover in Japan was nice - all those Japanese gadgets in the airport! And Singapore's really nice.... I was taking pictures of myself by propping up my camera on tables and flowerpots and putting it on self-timer mode. And then an airport worker stopped and asked, "Would you like me to help you take your picture?" I was embarrassed and said, "Uh, thanks, but never mind, that's okay." And then I stopped taking pictures of myself.

Just a quick post - I haven't even looked through my past posts and stuff yet. I'm going to go get a quick nap now.

2005-06-12T14:31:00.000+08:00

My flight home is tomorrow. Transit in Japan (3 hours) and Singapore (15 hours!!!!), and then I arrive at the Kota Kinabalu airport on Tuesday. And then drive home to Tamparuli!

2005-06-05T14:07:00.000+08:00

almost done with school for this year! Just one more week, and then I'm going home to Tamparuli!

I'm going to work on this blog once I get home... need to update it, change the layout. Etc. Mesti!

a very late kotobian tadau tagazo do kaamatan to everyone.

2005-06-03T18:27:00.000+08:00

Ah - I don't know where this blog's comments link went. Seems like my browser just isn't loading them. I should really take time out to redesign this blog (right now, I think the layout is just plain ugly!) and shift the comments over to Blogger, instead of YACCS. I will, after finals.

Next week is finals week! And then balik Sabah for a whole month and more!! Tak sabar-sabar ni! Can't wait.

2005-05-08T04:24:00.000+08:00

me talking online to a guy named alex, who wants to visit Sabah this july... he's the one who was my banquet date and crashed the car. Anyway. He's nice, but alamak, BODOHNYA orang putih ni!

I'm not Malay or Chinese... the fact that he said I'm Chinese annoyed me enough. I got more annoyed when he assumed that if I wasn't Chinese, then I must be Malay because I'm Malaysian. (So if being Malaysian automatically makes me Malay, does that mean being an American automatically makes a person Caucasian?). It annoyed me even more when he said "all malays are chinese".

him (9:55:18 PM): thai is cooler than malaysian
him (9:55:21 PM): haha
me (9:55:45 PM): thanks, it's nice to know i'm not cool
him (9:56:05 PM): well u r chinese
me (9:56:11 PM): no alex
him (9:56:13 PM): and that is cooler than malaysian
me (9:56:13 PM): i'm not chinese
him (9:56:15 PM): so u r cool
him (9:56:17 PM): chink chink
me (9:56:28 PM): unless you haven't noticed, i don't have a chinese name.........
him (9:56:34 PM): all malay are chinese if u think about it:-\
me (9:57:16 PM): omg
me (9:57:19 PM): just don't say that in public
him (9:57:30 PM): CHINESE!!!
him (9:57:34 PM): *points finger*
him (9:57:35 PM): haha

2005-04-17T22:53:00.000+08:00

bencinyaaaa my roommate's friends! Masuk bilik inda pernah knock... my desk near the door lagi ni. Terkejut my heart every time they suddenly explode into the room. benciiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!

stupid people. we never layan each other, except every now and then i terpaksa layan them when they beg me for my chemistry homework. stupid idiots, i'd like to shoot them. (Sorry - feeling very violent right now.)

2005-04-17T11:07:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how much junk Americans have. I swear I've accumulated over 10 tons of stuff in my tiny dorm room already. And apparently, I need it all.

Today's my cleaning-out day. Throwing out everything! (Well.... not sure about that.)

Only about two months left until I go home to Sabah for summer! Can't wait. And I'm pretty sure everyone's going to be checking to see if I've become more gemuk since coming to America.

What's with that, anyway? Someone goes overseas for college and comes back, and everyone's convinced that this person a) has been pregnant or has fooled around with those foreign boys, b) gained 10 kg, c) considers self to be better than everyone else back home, and insists on flaunting an American/British/Australian accent and speak nothing but English. Come on!! We're not all like that!

2005-03-11T22:54:00.000+08:00

My last Kimia chapter test today - now I only have finals left. This test was crazy! Usually there are the geniuses who finish early and leave with 20 minutes left on the clock ... but this time, everyone was still working on the test paper when time ran out. I think I got a B on that paper... maximum B+. But that should be OK.

Later, while walking back to the dorm, I cross paths with my Chemistry teacher - and am SHOCKED when he says, "Did you finish the paper in time, Kim?" @##)(*)(*&^%#@@!## I've never stayed after class to talk to him, he doesn't pass out the papers in person, and basically I've never had any contact with him. Shock. Shock. Luckily I catch myself in time to squeak out a small "Yes, I did".

2005-03-10T11:59:00.000+08:00

I can remember exactly what I was doing at this time last year. I had just eaten an early lunch at Kem Ovai's mess hall, fried noodles and eggs and vegetables, brushed my teeth, and was collecting my mess tin, backpack, etc. from Logistics. My birthday was to be spent overnight in the jungle, for NS. And it was the weirdest birthday I ever had - eating half-cooked (yet somehow, burnt) rice, curry Maggi, biskut 10 sen, and trying to figure out why Logistics had given us canned food but no can openers. No toilet, just a hole dug in the ground and covered by a leaf. It was raining, everyone was wet, nobody could change clothes. Hardly got any sleep, taking turns to watch over each other, and being wet and dressed in full Khidmat Negara celoreng gear - boots, etc.

When I finally got back to camp, the tight 'Stoking ATM' had somehow cut into my skin (and everyone else's) and left scars that stayed for two weeks. I cursed the government for giving me a crappy birthday, but then again, everyone seemed to envy me for having my birthday on such a day.

Now I'm in college. It's "Dead Week" now, the week before finals. It's crazy. I have a Math quiz today, and a Chemistry exam tomorrow. No time to stop, have to study or am doomed.

My birthdays, it seems, will always be a little loopy. I used to hate it. But now, I think I might be starting to like them being a little crazy.

2005-02-12T16:49:00.000+08:00

The winter formal was nice... although my date ditched me because he had to take pictures for the school newspaper.

And then on the way home... well.

inilah akibatnya lelaki yang suka menunjuk-nunjuk. ^_^

2005-01-30T02:14:00.000+08:00

an entry, sabahan style.

bah. esok, majlis formal sini sekolah... tapi di bandar lain, di hotel. Mula-mula sia inda mau pigi, tapi ada ni orang bawa sia pigi. Sia mau cakap "Tai lah, jangan harap sia mau pigi majlis formal!! Pigi mati!" tapi'd nga, osusa noh.... dia sudah beli tiket untuk sia gia. jadi sia cakap okeh, jom.

jadi, saya pigi lah ni. harap-harap inda disaster. petang hari Ahad. Baju/gaun/yang tu anu tu, apa sudah gia nama dia tu/ sudah ada. satu lagi perkara sia belum buat, iaitu cukur kaki hahahaha......

2005-01-24T13:35:00.000+08:00

As much as I love Bjork, I personally wouldn't kiss a cat on the mouth, then dance with an overgrown version with it.

I liked Post and Homogenic and all the other albums, but maybe not Medulla.

2005-01-24T12:45:00.000+08:00

Tests tests tests. Took a Sociology test this morning. Then got a College Algebra test back - I wanted to bang my head on a wall, 88%.

Sure, 88% is fine. But this class is easy! It's like Form 3-4 math, and I got an 88%?? What is this?! That's it, no more slacking off.

2005-01-18T22:53:00.000+08:00

cartwheeling in a park in Corona. saturday evening. fun fun.

2005-01-15T15:34:00.000+08:00

Reuters: An injured Acehnese woman (bottom) clings to a man at a river in the tsunami-hit city of Banda Aceh, on the Indonesian island of Sumatra December 26, 2004. Both victims were later swept by the strong current and died, according to the photographer.

Frankly, this is the sickest photo I've ever seen. The photographer, even with long telephoto lens, would have been close enough to help them.

2005-01-14T15:36:00.000+08:00

I got asked to the school's winter formal today. It's a sort of banquet thing, you know, the American Thing where you dress up all fancy and go with a date.

I don't really want to go with him, but as I'm sure he's the only person who will even think of asking me - I said yes, I'll go with you.

2005-01-12T14:22:00.000+08:00

Corona del Mar, Newport Beach in the summer. Running with a very cute 3-year-old.

It feels funny wearing shorts - everyone wears them here in summer, because you'd be insane not to. but back home... wear shorts, and people start whispering, "Ooh. Slut."

2005-01-12T14:05:00.000+08:00

I love sabahans and the crazy stuff they stick on/in their cars. pic taken at ... dunno, somewhere around tanjung aru or penampang, the area with the Putra restaurant.

2005-01-02T14:30:00.000+08:00

Cousins. I'm sometimes annoyed and sometimes flattered when people say I look Chinese. But please. I'm Dusun! long live pindik2 tagap2 Dusun Kiulu! or whatever. hahaha.

2004-12-29T09:29:00.000+08:00

Christmas was OK, but it sucked. Bah humbug. I've never had a nice Christmas since I was 11 - that means since 1997.

I'm back to work right now. The tsunami news are all over the press here. All the newspapers ever focus on is the number of the dead, and also on how much aid money is being sent over to Asia. Which I guess is what's important right now.

2004-12-02T15:01:00.000+08:00

For the last Rendezvous (every Wednesday at 10, required) meeting this quarter, the dorm students watched Sarah McLachlan's World on Fire video clip.

Now I feel guilty about spending money, even on toothpaste and stuff like that. But really. I feel guilty.

You can watch it at worldonfire.ca

2004-12-01T13:28:00.000+08:00

Stupid America. The weather is around 9 ºC right now, and I brought in a small heater for my dorm room... because the heater in my dorm room doesn't work. It COMPLETELY doesn't work, no heat whatsoever. And the resident assistant (RA)/desk worker sees my heater and goes, "Sweetie, sorry, you can't have that in your room."

#$*#()*)@#*!@

I'm supposed to freeze?

2004-11-27T21:05:00.000+08:00

An email I wrote to a friend. I re-read the email, and it's unfortunately true.

I use "aku" instead of the usual Sabahan "sia/sy/saya", because the friend is orang Semenanjung. =)

skrg aku kat Cali.... blajar kat uni... nasib baik dapat biasiswa, kalau tak, gerenti aku masih kat rumah.... kalau masih kat rumah, gerenti mak bapak aku tengah suruh aku kawin dengan anak jiran ke apa...

2004-11-26T13:18:00.000+08:00

My very first Thanksgiving dinner, in my sister's dorm room, on the floor. Washed down with water from the drinking fountain.

Leftover noodles and broccoli. No turkey. Dont' get me wrong - it actually tasted pretty good.

2004-11-21T01:09:00.000+08:00

You know what - I think it's time I moved on to another website. I've owned a domain since March last year, it's about time I bought a hosting plan and started using it. Then I'll have more flexibility and ... stuff like that.

I feel as if I've outgrown this blog. It's best known for the National Service posts I did, and I don't do them anymore. I was discharged in May, about six months ago. (Whoa. Half a year. It hasn't felt like half a year.) I'm a college student in California now .... let me just add that I feel extremely grateful and lucky that I'm here. Without the scholarships, I would still be in Tamparuli, probably with my relatives trying to marry me off to some random guy. Anyway. California. I'm here now, and the blog is going in a completely different direction. Maybe it's time that I moved.

dreamsome.blogspot.com will still exist. I'll just import all my posts over to my domain, but I'll leave my NS 2004 posts here. There are still a few search requests for "Khidmat Negara" and other phrases, that send surfers to this blog. So, the NS posts will stay.

But I'm not leaving yet. I'm still here. I have this huge guilt feeling whenever I spend money. And a web hosting plan costs money.

2004-11-20T23:49:00.000+08:00

Oh, gah. My sister's going on a world tour (New York, Hong Kong, and who knows where else) for Christmas break, and I'll be stuck in this grotty dorm.

I could spend $400-600 on a ticket to London and visit my cousin, but ... maybe not. Too much stupid studying for Chemistry to do.

But you know what I'll definitely do? Next year when I get back to Sabah, I'll splurge on an AirAsia tour to Kuala Lumpur, Selangor, and Penang, and hook up with my NS friends. I might even go for a spin around Sabah to meet up with good friends ... that would mean Kota Marudu, Kota Belud, Sandakan, Tawau, and Beaufort. I'm so doing it.

2004-11-20T12:02:00.000+08:00

Tickets from my evening with Bond, and also my orange I'm-under-21-and-can't-buy-alcohol wristband. (The 21's got blue bands.)

2004-11-19T01:35:00.000+08:00

I just got back from my first concert! I went to see Bond at the House of Blues in Anaheim ... they're SO good! I've been listening to them since I was 14, and now that I've seen them live... oh, wow! Their music sounds so different now. Their performance was so energetic, and they've got so much crazy talent!!!!!!

SO good!!

2004-11-04T01:47:00.000+08:00

Finally got some time to myself tonight, to surf the Net and update myself on home. From now on, I'll post more regularly. I need to do it, all the stress is building up and I need a punching bag. Virtual punching bag a.k.a. blog is fine too.

Things I didn't know until tonight:

- Anwar Ibrahim is free

- Form 5 students are in the middle of SPM 2004 right now. Meaning that everyone else in secondary school will be enjoying cuti SPM, when the core subjects come along.

- Several national papers are on available online now, average price RM 35 a month for one paper. Now, if only they had Daily Express.... I need my Sabah news. Oh wait! THEY HAVE THE SABAH TIMES! The only reason I ever read that paper was because my secondary school boyfriend would obsessively read about the Sabah football team, saying that The Sabah Times was the backbone of the Rhinos, therefore they had the best coverage.

- William Hung will be performing in Genting, on Nov 15. Oh gawd. Check out the link on The Star.

2004-11-03T23:56:00.000+08:00

Good grief. Just got an email from someone, apparently I'm on Wikipedia.org.

Well ... you know, it's kind of embarrassing. I'm not history, and certainly not encyclopedia material. Salam Pax is encyclopedia material. I am not, thank you, and do not wish to be.

To whoever wrote that entry, thank you. I am flattered, terribly flattered, but no thank you. I don't deserve it. Good to see that it's lined up for deletion. To any of you who have Wikipedia.org accounts, vote for it's deletion.

2004-11-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

It’s now the day after the 2004 Elections in America, and it brings me back to my memories. I remember being in Khidmat Negara in mid-March, standing in line for breakfast at Kem Ovai, looking up and seeing Kerry on the TV screen. At that point, we were all with the frameset of "We're never going to get outta here." Just seeing him on the news gave me the reassurance that yes, there was an outside world. Yes, I would be getting out soon. Yes, I'd be free.

I remember watching Kerry and thinking, This guy has to win. He’s going to stop that warmongering idiot of a Bush. Now Kerry, he knows what he’s doing. The army is screwed up, heck, what I’m in is barely half an army and it’s already screwing up most of us. Good guy, Kerry. Gotta win, get us all out of the army and wars.

And then Bush wins. Dammit. How could he even say, "The American people have spoken"? Half the American people spoke for him, the other half were all for Kerry, duh. The real states like California and New York were all for Kerry, it was those nowhere places like Nebraska and North Dakota that went for that redneck Bush.

2004-11-03T03:15:00.000+08:00

Today's Election Day, and I'm not voting. All I know of the candidates' agendas are the stuff they print in the newspapers, and I don't consider that enough to make me "well-informed".

But, dammit. Why does anyone vote for Bush anyway? I'd vote for Kerry, just to get Bush out of office. Or heck, even Nader, although everyone knows he's (Nader) not likely to win.

I had an absentee voting form but did I vote? No. Dammit! If I have to spend the next of my 4 years in college under Bush's system, I'm moving to the North Pole.

I'm 18 and eligible to vote in America. Back home in Malaysia, I'd have to be 21.

2004-11-02T08:38:00.000+08:00

Busy busy day. I'm so tired, I'd like to fall asleep right now. But terpaksa buat homework. Bloody homework.

It's getting cold here in Southern California. But recently it's been raining ... today it wasn't raining, but it was extra windy. And there's no more smog! You can see the mountains, and there's SNOW on the mountains. SNOW! I'm kind of getting goggle-eyed/sakai now, but come on, this is my first memory of snow.

2004-10-17T06:54:00.000+08:00

I'm getting a laptop next week (finally!), so I'll be able to be on the Internet more often. And I'll be able to type up my class papers more easily .... instead of going to the library or computer lab, and ending up typing a long paper on a computer not connected to the printer or Internet. >_< Gah. Long story.

Today was stupid. Last night a girl from my office (Chris) and I returned the office's golf cart to Security. I'd never done it before, and she left it unlocked and not plugged in - saying she didn't know how to, and Security would do it.

And this morning, Julian (the guy who threw his ring at my head) goes off at me and says, "Did you work last night?" Yes. "Did you return the golf cart?" And I said yes, although I should have said that I didn't return it, but I was there. And then he goes off at me, saying that I should lock it up and plug it in to charge the battery. Duh. Weirdo. Yesterday he was telling everyone, Yeah, out of all the new workers, Kim's my favourite. (I didn't interrupt and say that he's my least favourite.) And then today he gets all mad at me ... I don't mind people getting mad at me, but I'm pissed because it WASN'T MY FAULT. Bloody Chris.

2004-09-27T23:27:00.000+08:00

so I'm in college now, finally. Southern California's a long way away from Sabah. And I don't just mean distance... everything's a long shot away. Everyone acts and dresses in ways that I'd never see on the street in Sabah, but I'm fascinated anyway.

It's my second Monday in college, and I'm so tired.

Regular schedule: Up at 6 am, no breakfast, to classes, to job, no lunch, to classes, dinner (finally!), up the hill to the library to type up my papers (I don't have a computer... very sad. That's why I don't post very often.), back to room, take shower, sleep at 12 pm or 1 am.

Not too many friends. I basically keep to myself, but I do hang out occasionally with 4 guys who used to attend the academy down the street. I haven't really hung out with any girls yet. (Actually, I haven't hung out with any girls at ALL.)

Gah. And they say it's the friends you make in college that last. If that's the case, then I'm screwed.

2004-09-19T19:47:00.000+08:00

Went for freshman orientation over the weekend of September 12-14. These are four cool guys I met - yesterday, all of us (except the Asian guy) went to watch Resident Evil at the UCR theatre. And then to Alex's house (third from left) to shoot air guns and watch Double Take.

Lunch table at freshman orientation. Christa, Anna, Alex, ?, Jessica, and Lyn. I'm not in the picture, I took it. =D

2004-08-27T22:54:00.000+08:00

Best of luck to the 2005 batch of NS trainees.

I'm interested to see how this year's NS will be. Hopefully it'll be better than what I experienced.

2004-08-20T12:46:00.000+08:00

I'm still here. I'm trying to get over my addiction to work - maximum is 8 hours a day, and I end up staying anywhere between 9 to 10 hours. I don't get paid for the extra hours, I don't know why I stay behind.

Most people here, when they see anyone Asian, they either assume they're Chinese or Filipino. For my part, people think I'm Chinese. Today, someone asked me to translate a 2-page document into Chinese, and I had to explain, "Uhm, but I'm not Chinese."

However, one girl has gotten it right - an African-American, of all people. "Are you Malaysian?" she asked.

And today, the only Asian so far to ask me The Question: "Are you Korean?" And she was from Singapore.

2004-08-04T07:54:00.000+08:00

Huh, what a job. I started working with Enrollment Services at 2 pm yesterday.

And today, some white guy thinks it's funny to throw his (heavy) ring at my head.

So I went back to the dorm and cried. First-day-at-work stress.

2004-07-31T01:49:00.000+08:00

Last week, I went over to the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) to get a photo ID. I would've gotten a drivers license, but California roads make me nervous. And besides, I think it would just feel weird driving on the other side of the road, and on the other side of the car. Maybe next year.

Anyway. At the DMV, picked up a California drivers ed textbook. Cost = nothing! A whole pile of books, free for anyone and everyone to pick up. I think it costs RM 20 back home in Malaysia.

License plates, driving exams, are all different in each state. (But why?) Was so amused to see Arnold Schwarzenegger's picture on the front page, with his little intro text.

2004-07-30T16:57:00.000+08:00

Oh, great. My mother telephoned and, as usual, was talking about money and jobs and etc. So to throw her off the track, I mentioned my "National Service diary". And now she wants to read it. No, I am not eager for her to read this entire blog, swoop down on me, and say, "You did WHAT?" So I guess the best thing to do would be to print it out, cut out the parts I don't want her to read, bind it, and mail it to her.

And while I'm at it, I think I'll make another version, adding in stuff that I'd left out. And that 2nd version, to keep for myself. (My sister asked for a copy, so I guess that makes two of the 2nd version.) If I ever get around to doing it.

Maintenance came into the dorm room yesterday, to fix some things. Two students (both boys) and an older woman from Panama. The Panama woman and I started talking about how fruits here tasted nothing like the fruits at home - and how expensive fruit is here, compared to back home. The boys must've thought we were an odd pair, a Black woman and an Asian girl talking about fruit.

They pretty much ignored us, anyway. They were busy telling jokes to each other. A sample: "What do Bush and Martha Stewart have in common? They're both afraid of long sentences!"

2004-07-29T01:17:00.000+08:00

My first taste of Starbucks coffee, a Frappucino in a glass bottle. (Make that my first taste of coffee, unless you include coffeecake and Kopiko candy.) Not from a Starbucks cafe, but from the school cafeteria's drinks section.

It's ... uh ... bitter.

2004-07-28T02:10:00.000+08:00

Had to disappear for a few days - I went to stay in Loma Linda for five days in hell, starting Wednesday. And on Thursday, to San Bernardino to attend my organic uncle's wedding.

My uncle's a vegan, which means he eats less stuff than a vegetarian does. No white flour, no eggs, no milk. In other words, he doesn't eat anything that has a shadow. Have no idea how they managed to make the tiga tingkat vegan cake, but they did. It tasted like a normal cake - except it had wheat. And no flour, no eggs, no milk.

I liked the wedding reception. The bride was from a Filipino family, and while they were doing their wedding dance, the relatives came up and pinned money to the new couple's clothes.

Also met the bride's sister, a very interesting woman named Honey. She'd arrived in the US seven months ago, in January. It's now July, and she's already happily married to a US citizen. The American dream, the green card!

My very strange aunts (elder sisters to Organic Uncle) were - uh. They were bringing home everything they could find and carry, "because we're relatives". Flowers, decorations, bells, plants, vases. It was embarassing. And when the Filipino family asked them to join the dance, they stuck up their noses and said, "No, we're Christians, we don't believe in dancing." I couldn't believe it. What's the connection between being Christian and dancing, I'd like to know?

After the wedding, continued staying in Loma Linda. And on Saturday, drove over to Hollywood - Grauman's Chinese Theatre, the Walk of Fame, the Kodak Theatre, Universal Studios. At Universal Studios, they were cleaning up after the premiere of Thunderbirds - well, at least I can say I saw a premiere site.

By the way ... I came in #5 on the Yahoo search of instructions on how to take off a bra. Not sure on whether I should feel honoured or shocked.

2004-07-28T00:58:00.000+08:00

Considering I'm not 17 years old anymore, I changed the sub-name of my blog. It's still Operating Instructions ...

.... but no longer Operating Instructions: Life as a Seventeen-Year-Old. I turned eighteen in March.

Gah. I liked the word "seventeen" better than "eighteen".

2004-07-20T07:35:00.000+08:00

Testing this BloggerBot thing. So I start messing around with my sister's camera, and the mirror reflection. OK, I admit that this is me. But with my face hidden. =D

The camera, laptop, desk, etc. belong to my sister. I don't own anything like that yet. Still jobless. Aargh. Aargh.

2004-07-20T02:44:00.000+08:00

Ugh.

Before I left, my grandfather gave me some kocung he had made. Good stuff. Except that it was a month ago, and I ate one of them last night. It was great, but all mushy and - eegh. I think I may be sick.

Still no job. Aargh. Got beaten out for the Registrar job by one person. If that person drops the job, I'll get it - but not likely. It's a great job.

Looking forward to messing around with my blog layout, but feeling lazy at the same time. Ho ho ho.

P didn't come in at all last night - she only reappeared in the morning. I asked my sister, What do you think she's doing out all night? (Her answer: "I don't want to know.")

So my sister and I spent the night tuning in to various Internet radio stations, Malay and Indo. Listening to the Indo stations, Lisa said to me, No wonder orang Semenanjung think we [Sabahans] sound like Indonesians! We sound like them!!

Except, she says, that Sabahans probably talk faster than Indonesians? There's an Indonesian guy in her office - and he says she talks fast.

Found a list of Malaysian radio stations (not all on the Internet, though). Disappointed to see all from Semenanjung, one from Sarawak, and zero from Sabah. Where's the Sabahan radio stations? Whoops, sorry - I meant, Where's the Sabahan radio station? (Only one local radio station. Sadly.)

A few days ago, also told this to her and Shaun: during National Service, a girl got up in front of 600 trainees during Refleksi at night. And with the microphone, said, "Sebelum datang ke Sabah, kite ingat orang-orang kat Sabah ni, sume tinggal kat atas pokok. Tapi lepas datang kat sini, nampak maju sikit juge le." Shaun said he would've thrown his shoe at her. Lisa said she would've booed.

Am also pissed because Sabah contributes the most money to Malaysia' economy, yet is the most backward.

Another story I told them is of how we girls would lie in wait for each other, around corners in camp and also at UMS. We'd swipe at each other - at first we'd just pat each others' boobs and giggle, but pretty soon we'd reach out, squeeze, and run off giggling. The squeezed person would chase after the person, in order to squeeze back in revenge, of course. We would also swipe each others' butt cracks - "Credit card!" we'd squeal joyfully, run off, get chased down, get swiped back, and repeat. Or choose another victim for swiping. We'd also do the same thing with the gap between our boobs - "Bonuslink!"

2004-07-19T10:30:00.000+08:00

Didn't do much today.

Actually, didn't do anything today.

P came in at around 3 or 4 am, I think. Last night, she'd text-messaged my sister, saying that she was coming over. (They say 'text message' here, not SMS.) Around 1 am, my sister and I fell asleep, but left the door unlocked for her.

Woke up to hear P talking to someone - Lisa, I guess. Lisa later told me, she'd got quite a shock when P poked her awake.

Spent the day reading the library books, laughing out loud over Bridget Jones, and also Calvin & Hobbes. And kept on the edge of my seat (OK - bed) by To Kill a Mockingbird. Cannot believe how much I've been missing out on. Why couldn't I find that book in libraries back home? Why couldn't I find any book back home? (Although I did find Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita in the KK library. Woohoo.)

Lisa took a shower around 12 pm, and fell asleep for a few hours. Got some dinner for her from the cafeteria. Initially, I packed three chicken nuggets (vegetarian chicken nuggets, I might add), but was later tempted to swipe one. Did I? I did.

2004-07-18T14:57:00.000+08:00

Went over to the library today. Small library, but I was blown over by the books I could find. I could find all the books I'd ever wanted to read! (The books were definitely not at the Tamparuli branch of the Sabah State Library. I was disappointed when I didn't find them at the main branch in KK, too.)

There were several Calvin & Hobbes comic strip books. And also basic books (I don't know why I could never find them back home) like The Catcher in the Rye, and To Kill a Mockingbird.

Need to catch up on my reading. Don't want to be left behind when school starts. Don't want to find self in situation where everyone is talking about a certain book, and all I have to say is, "Sorry, I've never read that one."

My sister and I checked out 12 books altogether (max: 30 on one library card! It's only 3 or 4 back home, at most ... Tamparuli, 2 total.) Also the second Bridget Jones book. This should be good.

2004-07-17T06:08:00.000+08:00

After finishing lunch, Lisa and I bump into Shaun, all excited because he just finished his last day of summer classes.

"Let's go to the mall!"

And we do.

Lisa bought a wedding card for our organic uncle (my nickname for him, because he's so obsessed with being a vegan, he brings his own food to restaurants), and a birthday card for D back home.

Shaun was looking at shoes, but none of them particularly interested him. Finally he bought two books - The Da Vinci Code (what is it with this book? Everyone, and I mean everyone is reading it! Must read it one of these days, too. Cannot kalah.). And also the prequel (?) to the book. Angels and Men, I think the title was.

(Whoops. Just did Amazon.com check. It's Angels and Demons, not Angels and Men. Tee hee.)

Me? I finally bought a journal, after the past month of writing on paper bags from the cafeteria. "You weirdo," said Shaun after I told him of my paper bags.

"But a journal's so expensive!" I said, still converting prices into ringgit.

Lisa and Shaun tell me that after a year or so, I'll stop converting prices. Or after I get a job. "Just get it," said Shaun. "You won't regret it."

Missed the 3 pm bus back, so we browsed around Circuit City - electronics and gadgets. Wah! Great stuff. And then at 4 pm, we took the wrong bus. Eastbound instead of Westbound. So we were headed further and further away from the university. Finally got off at the 2nd stop (we'd boarded on the 9th!). And by the time we got back, it was 6:20 pm and the college cafeteria was closed. Two hours and a half on the wrong bus, compared to 10 minutes on the right bus!

Lisa and I joke to Shaun about how unlucky he is, first time on the bus and he gets on the wrong one with us. He's been here longer than Lisa and I, but he's never been on the bus before. Which is good, because that means he didn't have to run after buses - or arrive at the bus stop, only to see the bus driving away.

So for dinner, we went to Del Taco for tacos, burritos, quesadillas, etc. I had a Spicy Chicken Taco, and a piece of my sister's cheesy quesadilla. I liked the quesadilla better.

Strange American thing: they clean up after themselves, in fast food restaurants! Suddenly remember my sister cleaning up after herself at McDonalds back in Sabah, and me telling her to stop - it's not what we usually do back home, right?

Shaun says, Yeah, if you carefully watch the foreigners back home, they clean up after themselves.

Strange American Thing immediately becomes Good American Thing, in my mind. But I doubt I'll clean up after myself when I get back to Sabah next year. I'll clean up in America, but I'm not sure about home - not sure yet.

2004-07-15T01:34:00.000+08:00

Nothing much today. P went to the boys' dorm last night, with CeCe. I have no idea what time she came back to the room. But when I fell asleep at 1 am, she still wasn't back. She's been here since last Friday, and she's only stayed in once. The rest of the time, she comes back at who-knows-what time. Once, she made sure to bring a pack of chewing gum with her before going out. Lisa teased her about that - "P, what do you need the chewing gum for??"

At 10 am, went for my job interview at the Registrar. I have no idea whether or not they liked me, but they were roaring with laughter at some of my answers. The interview lasted 20 minutes, and I'm not sure whether or not that means they like me or not. Is 20 minutes a long time for an interview? And of course, they asked the standard question - so far, both job interviews that I've gone to have asked me this question - "Can you explain how is it possible that you type at 104 words per minute?"

I don't know. I took the clerical test (computerised) on 29 June, and that's what I scored. So I answered, "I don't know, I'm still trying to figure it out."

After the interview, I went back to the dorm just as P was leaving ("I'm going early today, I know where the bus station is now, and I am SO not missing this one!").

Lunch with my sister Lisa and her workmate, Monica. Fun.

And dinner with Lisa and Shaun at the cafeteria, and one of Shaun's friends. They had Chinese food today, but you'd never find anything like that in the Chinese restaurants or homes in Malaysia. Too sweet.

2004-07-14T13:23:00.000+08:00

P came back!! She missed the bus (went to the wrong bus station). At the bus station, everything seemed to go wrong. The weather was hot, the vending machine ate her dollar, etc. Met a NFL guy who used to play for the Chicago Bears and now owns a few group homes, he offered to pay for her Masters degree if she'd work with his group home (she told him she was a Business major). He sent her over to the right bus station ("I could've been killed, but I was so frustrated I didn't care", she said), but the bus had already left.

So we took the eggs, butter, and cake mix down to the dorm's kitchenette and started baking. There were 2 cake pans, but they were so rusty. We didn't even want to touch the pans! We ended up baking the stuff in two cupcake pans, and a mixing bowl (!!!).

When greasing the pans, P looked around for grease in the fridge and cupboards. I had no idea what this was, and still have no idea. Does grease come in cans here, or spray? I greased the pans the only way I know how to - and the only way possible in Sabah - by using butter. P looked surprised at it, like she'd never seen it before.

And butter comes in a box here, in "sticks"... small individually-wrapped rectangles, about the size of a - uh - Nokia 2100 phone? Hehe, I don't know any other way to describe the size. I have yet to see butter come in a block, like at home.

Watched a show on VH1 while waiting - I Love The 90's. Ah, all those memories! Remember those slap bracelets? You'd slap them on your wrist and they'd curl around. "Pre-bondage for adolescents", a comedian on TV joked.

The whole dorm started to smell like cake, and a guy dropped by. "P! What are you baking? I can smell it allll the way down the hall!"

Dinner - we ate the mixing-bowl cake and cupcakes on the floor, while watching 50 First Dates on P's DVD player. And with chocolate frosting on top. Whee!

Our bathmates are strange. They cook in their dorm room, which actually isn't allowed. My sister has a kettle, but a kettle is a kettle. THEY have a little stove, a frying pan, a rice cooker. The whole bathroom smells like kimchi. The smell of kimchi itself isn't bad, but it gets bad when mixed with the smell of the toilet, the trash, various soaps and shampoo in a small room.

They use our tissue paper without asking (going through a whole roll a day), and use our soap and shampoo. Even my sister's razor! Yuck! Tissue, soap, and shampoo is understandable, but using the razor is going a bit too far.

And today, they broke my sister's bathroom mug.

2004-07-14T04:40:00.000+08:00

Ack. I have a whole backlog of stuff to write up. I used to keep a paper journal, but I guess being in America, that's the end of my paper journals. Takes up too much space. So everything's going up on the Internet now.

I have a whole bunch of blogs I'd like to add to the list on the right, but I'm just too lazy. I have to make sure I do it sometime soon.

Life here, so far, has been interesting. People here are just so friendly, and so nice! I don't know why back home in Malaysia, I was always taught that Westerners are lazy, useless, rude, unfriendly, etc., etc., and want everyone else to act like them. No such thing. People are just soooo nice here.

For example, back home everyone pretty much goes on their own business. You go to the bank, you get your stuff done, goodbye. You go to the post office, ask for two stamps, the postal worker silently gives you two stamps and takes your money, you take the stamps, and "thank you" is optional. Here, you go to the bank and chit-chat about everything and anything with your bank teller, the way you might chat with your hairdresser.

Went for a job interview today, at the Registrar. The 2 people who interviewed me were really, really nice. I wouldn't mind working with them. I have no idea whether or not I'll be hired.

P left for home today. She'll be back next week, I think. The cake hasn't been baked yet.

Was eating lunch with 4 others in the cafeteria today, when the talk suddenly strayed over to gay guys. One guy said, he once had a gay workmate who was vegetarian. And they were always bugging him to eat some meat, because he was so thin... and the workmate gave them this sly look and answered, "I *do* eat meat."

2004-07-13T06:51:00.000+08:00

Called the Dean of Education, turned down job. Bad hours. According to my mother, whose message was relayed by my aunt Jeanie in Virginia.

Check the board for job openings. A new one at the Registrar! I apply. Please, please, please let me get this job. It has summer and school break hours, and I need those hours.

Also make as-soon-as-possible appointment with Enrollment counselor. My SPM grades aren't accepted, I'll have to take the ACT or SAT instead. Aaargh. If I knew, I wouldn't have taken the SPM in the first place. Am going to try and sort it out on Tuesday, July 20.

Oh - they write their dates the other way around here. July 20 is not 20/7, like back home. It's 7/20. Confusing, very confusing. When I get a date such as 7/6, I get confused. 6 July, or 7 June?

2004-07-13T04:57:00.000+08:00

Went over to Stater Bros today, to buy groceries. Basic stuff, like bread and chicken slices. P bought some cake mix and eggs. I thought the half-sized Pepsi cans were cute, but too bad I don't drink carbonated drinks. They're the same diameter as the usual Pepsi cans, but only half the height. Sooo cute.

Supermarkets here are HUGE. And portions are huge. I haven't seen small portions like at home yet. No such thing as 3 burger buns in one plastic bag. Here, they come 12 at a time. Wah. Wah.

And before Stater Bros, over to the nearby bank to open an account. The lady who helped me was really, really nice, chatting about everything under the sun (or so it seemed). From babysitters to bus rides to pizza specials at Pizza Hut (latest: $6.99, large, 1 topping). She showed a booklet of cheques to me, and I picked out the cheapest kind.

Blue, green, or yellow? (Blue, my favourite colour. But maybe I should've taken yellow, a more businesslike cheque colour?)

Ack. Just realised that if I am to use the American way of writing, cheque=check. And favourite=favorite, and colour=color. And at the beginning of this paragraph, realised=realized.

2004-07-12T04:53:00.000+08:00

I wake up at 12 pm, thanks to my sister's clock radio. 12 pm! An entire day wasted. Ugh, ugh. And I suddenly realize that I haven't written anything. Anywhere. There go my memories.

No paper, so I grabbed a paper bag from the cafeteria and started writing on that.

Called the Learning & Support Centre today to cancel my ACT exam. I've been advised to wait for someone to return to campus, and refer my SPM scores to him. And if it turns out I'll have to take the ACT anyway ... that means the SPM is useless to me here, and I might as well not have taken it. Argh. Argh.

2004-07-07T06:38:00.000+08:00

Second interview at the Dean of Education's office. Am in a dilemma about the job, as it doesn't have all the hours I'd like. But other than that, I want the job!

I've got the job, but still in dilemma. The Dean was nice enough to give me a week to think about it, before deciding on anything. So I'm to get back on her next Monday, and tell her my decision.

2004-07-06T04:22:00.000+08:00

Phone call from Dean of Education's office. Second interview tomorrow! She's narrowed it down to two people, and wants to narrow it down to - well - one.

Went shopping with my aunty Julie, cousin Brittany, and sister. And also my 3 year old cousin Caitlyn. They nickname her Cait-Cait. But it looks better as 'Kate-Kate' when written down, so let's call her Kate here.

Anyway. Suddenly Kate exclaims with glee in the car, "Testicles! Testicles!" and all of us laugh so hard. Have no idea where she could've picked that up from.

We tried to change her to saying 'Popsicles' instead, so she said popsicles. Just as we'd convinced ourselves we'd wiped 'testicles' out of her mind, she suddenly burst out again - "Testicles!"

2004-07-05T13:20:00.000+08:00

Whee! Just came back from watching Fourth of July fireworks. Great show!

My cousin Brittany and sister Lisa say I'm lucky - hardly two weeks in America, and I get to see fireworks. And a celebrity!

Earlier today, we'd stopped by Costco and saw the girl from 13 going on 30, the one that played Jennifer Garner's backstabbing best friend. She was with a guy - boyfriend or husband, I guess. They were at the checkout line, and seemed to be having a problem. Later they walked out without anything, which probably means they didn't have a Costco member card, or something? Dunno.

2004-06-30T06:36:00.000+08:00

Interview at the Dean of Education's office, for a part-time job. The interview lasted quite a while, but the job sounds tough. Kind of hope that I won't get the job.

2004-06-29T00:35:00.000+08:00

Well, here I am. California! And it's huuuuge. Loads of people. And things are so big here. Meal portions are huge, roads are big, etc etc.

Yes, this is the rusa masuk kampung phase for me.

Currently with a stuffed-up nose and a semi-sore throat. Need to get well quick.

2004-06-26T05:18:00.000+08:00

Arrived today. I had Asian Vegetarian meals on the plane, all the way. I got an aisle seat on the right side of the plane at first, from Singapore Changi Airport to Narita Airport in Tokyo, Japan. An Indian girl was sitting at the window, and the seat between us with empty. She quickly took advantage of this, stacking all her stuff (plenty) there. She spent most of her time flipping her ponytail around, and examining the ends (for split ends, maybe?). She was around her early 20's, I think.

From Tokyo to Los Angeles, I got an aisle seat on the other side of the plane - the left side. Again, the seat between me and the window seat was empty. The girl at the window seat was probably around 9 or 10 years old, and from Korea. I assumed her to be from South Korea, not the North.

At first I thought she couldn't speak English, she was so quiet. Turned out that her mother was a teacher, and she spoke fluent - VERY fluent - English.

Later she offered me a piece of Korean grape candy called 'sour sweet' - "Here. This is Korea candy." I asked for the name in Korean, and she told me - but I couldn't catch the name, and was embarrassed to admit it. So I just nodded my head and said, "Oh, I see."

We put our bags in the middle seat. There was an extra blanket and pillow (because nobody was in the middle seat), so I lined the bags and she slept with her head on them. I think she slept most of the way.

At the end of the trip, I was embarrassed because I had nothing to give to her in return for the Korean candy.

2004-06-14T00:02:00.000+08:00

So my flight's all set. Kota Kinabalu to Singapore - then after a couple of days there, on to Los Angeles. Transits at Tokyo Narita and San Francisco.

Only about an hour each at Tokyo and San Francisco. I wish I had a bit more time, to look around the airport. Because, well-- Japan!!

Things I'm going to miss: Tuhau (doesn't matter that they say it smells like kosisang - it's great stuff), and also bosou. Of course, I'm bringing along a small bottle of tuhau ... but bosou is out of the question. That would be almost as odour-hazardous as bringing a durian.

In the bag: Some clothes. A towel. Some toiletries...yeah, well, I'm one of those girls with three kinds of facewashes.

Still talking nonstop about National Service with my friends - eck, when will this stop? And found out (shock!) that a 3rd intake girl had been raped at Kompleks Sukan Likas... my friend had been one of the first the girl had told about the incident, before she (reluctantly - you understand) reported it. And of course, it was all hushed up.

2004-05-31T21:01:00.000+08:00

The Unduk Ngadau pictures came out in the paper a few days ago. We pored over them, trying to make our guesses on who would be the finalists, and also (we're evil) which ones didn't stand a chance.

We teased each other - "Tiada yang lebih lawa kah dari kampung kau? Ini saja kah?!", pointing out representatives from our respective districts and kampungs. Of course, everyone supported their own district.

First time I've ever gone to watch a Unduk Ngadau beauty pageant (and probably the last time for a long, long time... university holidays never fall in May), and ... surprise! My district of Tamparuli wins the title of Unduk Ngadau 2004! Excellent!

I never knew I'd enjoy watching a beauty pageant so much - usually I think these things are cheap and degrading to women, but I actually had great fun watching. And burst into cheers and clapping when Tamparuli won.

Had to push to get into the hall. Actually, I didn't even want to go in, but the rest of my family did. So I joined and went in. Pushing to get into the door, some 40+ year old man took the chance to rub against my chest. Gah. I could've slapped him. Bad example to the 2-year-old son he was bringing along.

Somehow managed to get a seat in the second row. One of those plush seats supposed to be for VVIPs, but they were empty. It helps to know the right people who know the right people who have the power to grant you seats. Sat behind 2003's two (two!!) beauty queens.

Someone in the second row started passing around champagne glasses of lihing, and we all took a few sips. (The beauty queens, too? Yes.) I don't think I can take lihing as a drink. It reminds me too much of drunken chicken ... which is cooked with lihing.

At first me and the people sitting next to me were banking on Kota Belud, Tuaran, and Tamparuli winning, in that order.

Kota Belud was really, really pretty ... we were banking on her winning, no contest! But the question-answer session didn't go too well, and she placed 7th out of the 7 finalists.

Tuaran (my ex-classmate's girlfriend) placed fifth - I don't know why. She should've been in the top three. But that's OK, because she did win a smaller title a couple of days ago - "Tati Topiodon", I think. Miss Natural Beauty.

And Tamparuli placed first! When it was just down to her and Klang Valley, a guy in traditional costume next to me said, "OK, if it comes down to maturity, it's Klang Valley ... but everything else goes to Tamparuli. I'm not going to be happy if Tamparuli loses." She was really good at the question-answer session, and really natural throughout the whole event. And she won!!

So - yeah. Results, Papar got 3rd, Klang Valley 2nd, and Tamparuli 1st. Yay for Sumandak Tamparuli.

2004-05-25T16:42:00.000+08:00

So far, so good. I'm still alive.

Revisited one of the kampungs I used to visit to sing at - Rangalau Lama. No, I didn't sing this time. Three of us sat back and listened to the concert. (Sometimes, you have to stop singing for a while, in order to hear the music?)

At Rangalau, I met some ex-classmates whom I haven't met since 2000. Perfect, being able to meet them before leaving. Waded into the middle of the river to take silly pictures.

The Tamparuli Unduk Ngadau beauty pageant was two days ago, on Sunday. What I'd like to know is ... I wonder how they manage to get their hair all done up like that? It defies gravity, I kid you not.

2004-05-12T13:33:00.000+08:00

My acceptance/offer letter to university arrived today. I've known I was going for a while, but only today I have it down in black and white. So there it is, it's official - I'm going to America!

The thing is, I will have to leave this June. (Term begins in September.) This means that I only have a month or so left here in Malaysia. After that, I'll be seeing Malaysia somewhat from the viewpoint of an outsider. Only a month left here, as a real local.

I need to pick up the pieces of my life here, and get things together. (And yes, maybe buy a couple of sarongs along the way, too.)

At the moment, hiatus is the right word. I only have a month left. Some things need to be done, and one month isn't a very long time.

So I'll be taking a break from this blog, because I need the time. But maybe I'll be back after a month. We'll see.

Goodbye, for now.

2004-05-11T22:57:00.000+08:00

Had plenty of fun watching The Amazing Race on AXN this evening - finally got Astro, after years of living with only ONE very unclear channel - because they were right here in Sabah! Poring Hot Springs, Sepilok, Manukan Island... the way the narrator and competitors pronounced them sounded weird, but very amusing. Say-pee-lock for Sepilok, Man-can for Manukan.

Me and two other friends went to BSN today to finally withdraw our RM 300 worth of "duit kerajaan", from the Sijil Simpanan Premium we had been given. Darren said, "If we don't kasi keluar the money, got kadar bunga also kah that?" (No.)

"Ceeeiii, buat apa lah this? Better again keep in the bank, at least got kadar bunga."

And Crystal says, "At least with the SSP, you get the chance to win a car?"

Darren snorts and says, Nobody ever wins.

While waiting for the long line to clear up, the three of us sat on the sofas inside the bank, just taking in the air-conditioning. The two security guards came over and started chatting with us, and handed us flyers for 'Karnival Sure Heboh'.

"Bolehlah jumpa dengan selebriti," said one of the guard. "Lepas tu, ada cabutan bertuah sijil BSN lagi."

We tell the guards that most NS trainees have made plans to meet up during this carnival. Crystal tells us: "Mesti jumpa nanti ah, Sure Heboh! Yang Sabah mesti datang! Yang dari Sarawak pun datang ah?! Semenanjung pun mesti datang! Tidak boleh pun, datang saja!"

The security guards managed to get all sorts of NS stories out of us. They seemed blown over when we told them of a trainee who had stopped attending school at Primary 4, and was married with two kids.

"Tapi, bukan lepasan SPM saja kah yang kena pilih?" (Actually, no - it's by IC number.)

The security guards glance at each other, and one says, "Tapi kenapa saya tidak kena pilih?"

The other security guard poked him in the ribs and said, "Yang lahir tahun 86 saja lahhh..."

2004-05-10T23:55:00.000+08:00

I'm finally getting better. This is good. After days of staring down the toilet bowl and puking my guts up, I'm better. Except for the runny nose. What is it with the nose, anyway? First to get it, last to get well.

Strange phone conversations over the past few days. First, from my hyper Auntie Jeanie - "I telephoned Po Po (grandma)'s house just now and nobody picked up the phone?! Where are they?! Are they OK?!"

I told her that maybe they're doing their usual routine, going to Tuaran early in the morning to get fresh fish from the market.

"NO! I called them at 6:30 am, they don't go to Tuaran to buy fish that early! "

But it rained yesterday, so maybe they thought there wouldn't be a lot of fish in the market? And they decided to go early? I asked her about this.

"Never mind! I'll try again later! OK?!" Click!

And second, from my ex-classmate Pris. She said that she goes club-hopping every night. (I don't believe her.) And that there's this handsome guy hitting on her. (Uhm.) And that he's given her his credit card, and puts RM 1000 in it every beginning of the month. (Do credit cards work that way?) And that he's promised her a car. "Saya suka lelaki yang kaya saja, yang ada kereta. Aii, susah lah ni, banyak betul lelaki minat saya bah," she said. I could hardly believe our conversation was actually taking place.

Then, my mother. "Have you practiced curling your hair this afternoon?"

What?!

"The iron curlers in my room."

No. No. NO.

"You're eighteen years old and you still don't know how to curl your hair?!"

My mother thinks I can't curl my own hair (this is sadly true), and can't tell the difference between lipstick and face powder (Oh yes I can. One of them is red and sticky.).

2004-05-08T18:25:00.000+08:00

Okay, I hope I don't regret this. Here's some of my NS pictures.

http://img63.photobucket.com/albums/v192/dreamsome/?action=view¤t=06.jpg
Yes, that's the IKBN fight. But that particular picture didn't turn out the way I wanted it to - the fighting was pretty much ending by the time I took the picture. But you can still see a bit of action in front of the trainee with the No.6 jersey. Most of it is blocked, though. On the left, you can see three jurulatihs (our Timbalan Pengarah Kem only half in the picture, a jurulatih in all white Dunhill, and another with a red shirt and blowing a whistle) shooing the trainees and IKBN students off the field.

http://img63.photobucket.com/albums/v192/dreamsome/?action=view¤t=18.jpg
And a picture outside the Secretariat's office, while trying to go home for Qing Ming. Only one window panel was open, and we crammed and tried to get the people inside to take our ICs and papers. And after they were done with the paperwork, they'd wave the ICs in the air and yell, "Um, ok, siapa punya IC ni??" when trying to return them.

The very fuzzy pictures with numbers on them (1, 2, 4) are from a friend's APS photo index... very small pictures, that's why they're so fuzzy.

Here's the whole gallery:
http://img63.photobucket.com/albums/v192/dreamsome/

2004-05-06T21:14:00.000+08:00

Pooh. I'm disgusted. I just found out from some old newspaper clippings, parents/guardians could only pick up trainees after signing release forms, and producing identity cards. I also found out that NS officers would wait with the trainees at the bus drop-off points if parents were late. And also that there would be buses on standby to take the leftover trainees home, if the parents didn't come.

From my experience, as soon as we trainees and our bags had gotten off the bus, the bus and military escort sped off. And we hadn't even been dropped off at the police station - we had been dropped off at the nearby petrol station. The police station was in sight, of course, but not a single policeman in sight. The station (police... and petrol, too) looked deserted. No buses on standby, either.

And so much for release forms. We were told to "koyakkan saja" our release forms, and get on the buses anyway. Same thing went for parents and ICs - to my knowledge, the trainees were allowed to just get into their respective cars and zoom off.

My handphone keeps getting SMS messages and missed calls from NS friends. Very nice! Am really pleased, because this means that they haven't completely forgotten me.

I wonder if this whole "missed call" thing is unique to Sabah, or the whole of Malaysia? You know - call the person, let it ring once (or half of once), then hang up. And the phone keeps a record of the call, even though it was over too quickly for you to pick it up. And that's a way of saying "thinking of you", I guess. My cousin once gleefully said, "Inilah permainan yang amat menarik - missed call!"

2004-05-05T19:50:00.000+08:00

I just woke up, after an afternoon nap. And, like most other people who wake up at night - I feel very icky about myself right now. Even though it was thanks to cough syrup.

Came home from National Service on Saturday, at 11 pm. Immediately went to sleep, thanks to the previous night's late late late bedtime. And when I woke up, I said hello to a runny nose, a headache, and a cough. I guess I should be thankful it didn't start while I was still in UMS. I should be even more thankful I didn't get sick while in physical camp.

I know. I keep mentioning sleep. That's right, I haven't gotten enough of it yet. I'm home, but still sleeping only five hours a day! Partly because I got so used to it, sleeping only four or five hours a day during NS ...

... and partly because my family had to bring my Americanised uncle around. I privately refer to him as "vegetarian freak of an uncle", although I myself am semi-vegetarian (which means that I'm vegetarian whenever I want to lose weight, or whenever it's convenient.) He's a vegan - no eggs, no fish, he doesn't eat anything with a shadow. I think I the reason I call him a freak is because I'm jealous that he can live without meat. That's right - I envy him.

Brought him to Kinabalu Park on Monday, where he started snapping pictures. He hasn't been back home for 7 years, you see. Also stopped by the roadside stalls so he could buy souvenirs. The souvenirs are, of course, a bit expensive. For example, ordinary sarongs you can buy for RM 10 at the local tamu - you find them selling for RM 20 there.

It's kind of painful to see a guy wrapping sarongs around him, to try and figure out whether or not his fiancee in the US would like the pattern. The sarongs he were trying on were the really bright and colourful batik type - and he was wrapping them around his chest and tying the ends behind his neck. In the style that only women wear. (Ow, ow, my eyes!)

We also brought my uncle shopping at Karamunsing and Centre Point on Sunday. I took the opportunity to run off and do my own thing, and bumped into five friends from NS! It's nice to do things by ear, and it's nice to be spontaneous. Joined them, and went to the ground floor's food court for drinks, nasi lemak, and roti canai. One of them actually wanted KFC, but the others said they couldn't live without rice.

At the food court, bumped into another friend from NS! Decided to go to the movies. Then agreed that there weren't any nice shows. Cancelled, and decided to go bowling.

I lost horribly at bowling. Winner had about 110+ points, while I trailed at 48. I like bowling, but bowling doesn't like me.

And to the library today! Who cares about having a cold? One must suffer in the name of art. (The Czech art exhibition was, by the way, terrific. Though I wished that there had been more to see.)

Naturally, all this travelling has me sitting in cars for quite a while. And when in cars, just like in buses - you entertain yourself with your thoughts. I "dated" a guy I hardly liked in NS. I never told the guy I really liked, that I liked him. Oh well, too late for that now. Too late for anything now. They've both gone home - far, far away.

Ahh. Starting tomorrow, I can finally - finally! - sleep in. No more having to wake up early to bring my uncle around the place - his plane left for Kuala Lumpur this morning.

I can't believe how much I miss playing the piano. Three months of not even touching a music instrument. I never knew I'd actually miss it. I usually hate practicing. I usually hate the piano in general.

Glad to be home. But after three months of using a squatting toilet - it feels strange using a sitting toilet bowl. And it feels strange not having to sing the national anthem and Khidmat Negara theme song every day. And whenever a patriotic song comes over the radio, my memories of NS don't just come flooding back - they immediately hit me over the head. I think I'll remember NS whenever I hear a patriotic song. Over three months, I kind of got overexposed to those songs.

2004-04-30T23:12:00.000+08:00

(The following entry is for May 01, but listed as April 30 - in order to appear on the same page as the rest of the National Service blog entries.)

This, I think, is my last post while in National Service. Public interest in my blog will, naturally, decline from this point onwards. So I'll take this one last chance to say thank you to everyone who read my blog, following my three months' worth of adventures in NS. Thank you for your comments, and thank you for reading.

I strongly encourage other NS trainees, this year and next year and in coming years, to blog during NS. Consider it your duty to report what happens in NS. Consider it your duty to make sure that others can have a real source of NS news.

Blog on! The world is listening.

-----

I was up at 5 am, because my bus would be the first to leave at 8 am. My facilitator got into my room at 7:30, checked my room, and gave me my National Service certificate. My name and IC number on a certificate, saying that I had completed National Service. In a folder. I had been hoping it would be framed, like the ones Musa Haji Aman handed to the Khidmat Komuniti group leaders during the closing ceremony - but no. But then again, I guess that's hoping for too much.

Stuffed my missing roommate's baju kelas, shoes, socks, and belt into my bag. She had left UMS during the first week, and never returned. She never took her RM 300 allowance, never took her certificates, nothing. Just suddenly up and left, leaving behind only her class uniform. I reasoned that I might as well not waste the government's money, and take her baju kerajaan to cut up and use them to clean my house's windows ... or something. Just not leave them behind to be thrown away. My facilitator said, "Maybe she's coming back later, to take her things?" Oh, well. Maybe my faci did have a point. Took out her stuff again.

Carried my bag down to the urusetia at 7:40 am, complete havoc. Everyone trying to get their borang pelepasan (release papers) signed, and the facilitator responsible for the form not in sight. We lined up right in front of the office, in front of an empty counter. The head fasi of Kolej D's very harried and frazzled-nerves voice came over the PA system: Semua fasi, sila melapor ke pejabat urusetia sekarang juga. Semua fasi! Sila melapor ke pejabat urusetia! Sekarang juga!!

Five minutes later, I guess no facis had shown up. And hardly anyone's forms had been signed. A faci came out of the office and shouted, OK, kamu semua naik bas ke stadium! Semua borang akan diuruskan di stadium? OK?!

So we boarded buses to the stadium. Crammed like sardines again. And when at the stadium - was overwhelmed by the sight. Over a thousand trainees milling around, bags everywhere. Only two counters. One counter for Kolej A, the other for Kolej D.

Kolej A had yet to receive their certificates, but Kolej D already had. Kolej A had been told that their certificates would be given at the stadium, but Kolej D had been given their certificates while the facis were checking the rooms.

A Kolej A trainee told me that they had returned their celoreng at around 1 am last night, until around 4 am.
(So much for the soldier shouting at us that Kolej A had returned their celoreng in the morning. Liar.) Some had been so sleepy, they just plopped down on the ground and slept. Six hundred trainees sleeping, sprawled on the ground, in all kinds of positions. Some passing soldiers snickered at each other, "Mayat-mayat bergelimpangan," but the trainees were too tired to laugh or be bothered.

And by the time they were done, the bus drivers had done some sort of mogok and were gone. The trainees had to walk almost one kilometre back to their dorms, while soldiers zoomed by and screamed with laughter at them, Haha! Bagusss!! Jalan kaki lah kamu pulang! Wahahahaa!

At about 9:30 am (according to the schedule, I should have arrived home at 9:30 am), Mr. You All (Azhar) picked up a mike, ran up the stairs, and shouted, OK, you all lupakan saja tu borang pelepasan! Koyakkan saja! OK? Tu borang, koyakkan saja. Tidak perlu lagi! Borang pelepasan tidak perlu lagi! You all sila cari bas sendiri. Pelatih-pelatih yang sepatutnya berlepas pada jam lapan pagi, sila berkumpul sekarang juga! OK, bas ke Ranau, sila berkumpul di hujung sana! Bas ke Tamparuli, sila ikut abang yang tuuuu nah. Pelatih-pelatih yang belum menerima sijil, you all naik saja bas dan berikan alamat kamu yang betul kepada pengiring bas kamu! Kami akan poskan sijil kepada you all! OK?

I said my final goodbyes, hugged, took a few "one last picture"s, and saw plenty of people crying. Friends in NS become like family, and everyone gets pretty sad. You may meet a few again, but you'll never meet most of your friends ever again.

Finally left the stadium at 10:00 am, and arrived home at 11:00 am. Our bus wasn't even full - as it drove away, I looked back and saw some trainees who had obviously missed the bus. You could tell from their crestfallen faces, as they tried to chase the bus a bit or wave to slow it down. Definitely not trainees who were trying to signal at their friends on the bus. Definitely trainees who had missed the bus. I saw a few trainees I recognised from my area, who had failed to board the bus.

The drive home was uneventful, but we trainees were nevertheless excited. After being caged up for months, we were excited to see the surroundings. Lots of things had changed. Buildings had been repainted, signboards and bulletin boards had changed, buildings were being built, areas had been burnt. "Kenapa tu, tragedi atomik kah?" we joked as we spotted a particularly large dry, brown, and burnt area.

Our military escort joked, "OK, mari kita nyanyi lagu 'Pertemuan, Perpisahan." (Auld Lang Syne, with Malay lyrics: Pertemuan, perpisahan, itu adat manusia and Sayonara, sayonara, sampai berjumpa lagi) We groaned and said, "Jangan, jangan!" In situations like this, people can get pretty worked up singing that song.

As the bus slowed to a halt, the trainees in the bus cheered and clapped - "Yeaaaahhh! Pulang!!" Even our military escort grinned at this.

"Ada apa-apa perasaan tidak puas hati dengan staff?" asked the escort, and of course we said No, even if we did have our grudges. "OK," said the escort, "Kosong / kosong, ya?" And we nodded, smiled, and agreed, "Kosong / kosong." Zero zero.

The way we checked out was strange. While getting onto the bus, we wrote our names on a sheet of A4 paper. And getting off the bus (about 50m away from the police station), we put our signatures next to our names. Got off the bus, and that was it. Just like getting of a public bus on an ordinary day. No security, no police, no making sure we didn't run off or get kidnapped. Just sign on a piece of paper, and then the bus drove away.

We joked, Mana kompang kita?, referring to Musa being greeted by a kompang procession during the closing ceremony.

As I went home, people spotted us in our uniforms and asked, Khidmat Negara? Balik sudah? And we would nod and say, Yes.

Susah kah di sana? they asked. Syok kah?

Susah juga... ada yang syok, ada yang teruk juga.

I think that's just about right. Ada yang syok, ada yang teruk. The cases in the newspaper are true - they aren't blown out of proportion. The whole unity and perpaduan thing is partly true. We're still separate, but some of us try to make friends, and do become friends. But some refuse to split up and make friends with those from different races, religions, and backgrounds.

It's true that National Service is probably a bad idea. It's also true that National Service is probably a good idea. It's half-and-half, I think. But you definitely leave with plenty of friends, and plenty of memories. You learn to speak up, change yourself for the better, have confidence, cooperate, and lead.

And no, you certainly don't become more patriotic. If anything, you begin abhorring the idea of berkorban untuk negara. Instead, you think - Buat aaaapa?! What for?! And after being told endlessly, "Pandang ke arah Timur, the West isn't as good as the East, Westerners are lazy and lack in moral values," you begin to think that this is some kind of weird propaganda. I was offended.

You also learn to have a certain disregard for rules, and begin to have a problem with authority. You no longer respect authority. Administration is terrible, and you learn that you can't trust your leaders. And you and your campmates will get together and agree that some rules are just silly, so let's break these rules anyway. Why must these ministers have major cases of cirit-birit and be late to functions? What's with the lax administration, and how come any mistakes that happen get blamed on us trainees, even when it's not our fault? Does the government really care about us? If they do, why has the program been planned so badly?

And why so many cover-ups? Incidents such as bus accidents, fights, and everything are covered up, and even if they make the papers, they rarely make the national papers. They're either hushed up, or only make it to the local papers. And no further.

All of us NS trainees, I think, agree on this: National Service may be a good thing, but so far - it has been very, very badly managed. But we still have pretty good memories, because everyone has to make the best of things, and try to have fun. Perhaps National Service will improve in the future. I hope it does.

I'll remember walking into National Service, a complete stranger among complete strangers. I'll remember dangling by one arm from the monkey rack, and being pulled to safety by two trainees I hardly knew, but quickly became friends with them. I'll remember the friends I made, from all walks of life - rich, poor, quiet, mischevious, ladylike, tomboyish, macho, not-so-macho "Mary Mary" types, Indian, Malay, Chinese, Sino-Dusun and Sino-Kadazan, Dusun and Kadazan, Bajau, Bugis, Lotud, Rungus, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, and so much more. I don't know, I'm just listing all the variables and trying to Be Meaningful. I'll shut up now.

I'll remember being shouted at by the soldiers, and thinking - Fucking soldiers!!!, shouting at people. I'll remember hugging my friends and wishing that I didn't have to leave NS. I'll remember everything. And after some time, even bad memories can become good memories. And everything will be okay, and I'll know that I had an unforgettable experience, and the time of my life.

I'll remember.

2004-04-30T22:38:00.000+08:00

April 30

On Thursday night, we were all told to put on our full celoreng outfit and line up outside Kolej D's urusetia building. We were then divided into eight groups - the wira and wirawati of Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, and Delta.

We were told to do some drilling, which was basically just standing at attention, at ease, and right dress. It got monotonous after a while, and we groaned, Enough already! Nizam just replied with his usual, Ah-ha, korang nak tepuk lalat? (NO.)

They told us that we would later be called back to line up in front of the urusetia, to be re-issued our combat belts. We were also told that there might not be enough belts, so it'd be first come, first served.

So we went back up to our dorms, while the Alpha boys stayed behind and were punished to run around the urusetia building, one by one. Because someone's handphone had been stolen. That's how it is. Just one (unknown) thief, and the whole block gets punished. And you're not even sure that the thief is from that block, or company.

Not 10 minutes had gone by when they called us back down to line up.

The facilitators announced to us the departure times (Local areas on Saturday, and Semenanjung on early Sunday morning.) and also times that our rooms would be checked, and when we had to line up. For me, my schedule was to have room checking at 6:00 am, to make sure everything was in order and nothing was broken. Then to line up at 7:00 am, board the bus at 8:00 am, and arrive at my local police station at 9:30 am.

And then they distributed the belts. There was enough for everyone, I think.

Next morning, we were told to line up in front of Kolej D's urusetia office at 8:30 am, wearing our sports uniforms. Rehearsed the closing ceremony until 11:00 am, which was ridiculous. Most of the time, all we did was stand and listen to the soldiers bark instructions at us on how to behave. Some girls started passing out, and some boys ran out of line to rest in the shade because they felt like throwing up.

I switched places with a friend, so that I would be allowed not to raise my hands during doa selamat. I'm now in the second row, and my friend is in the first. While rehearsing the doa selamat, pretty much everyone was hissing at me to raise my hands, but I played deaf and remained at attention.

Fortunately, after that we were given rest until 2:30 pm - after which we were told to line up at the urusetia again. Full celoreng. And then we boarded the buses to the stadium for the closing ceremony.

The program was supposed to start at 3:00 pm, and we marched onto the field at 3:00 pm sharp. (We had been there since 2:30 pm, by the way.) So much for being punctual. We stood there under the blazing sun until 4:20 pm, waiting for YAB Datuk Musa Haji Aman. The whole time, we were standing at ease, and not allowed to sit or budge from our position. Naturally, we cursed, "Jangan haraplah saya mau undi ni YB lain kali! Jangan undi keturunan dia pun! Kenapa bah ni, lambat betul ... si Musa ni, cirit-birit kah?!"

Girls started fainting, of course. A bit too many. We had no water, because we had been forbidden to bring water bottles onto the field. One girl in my Khidmat Komuniti group whispered to us that she was feeling faint, and another went to a faci to ask for help to carry her out. The reply we got was, "Kita tunggu dia jatuh dulu, baru kita angkat dia keluar." We were furious at this, but had to obey him. And when she finally fell, they didn't help us at all. We did everything, from taking off her beret and belt and carrying her out. The facis and soldiers didn't even notice, or pretended not to.

Our Khidmat Komuniti facilitators left their seats on the bleachers to buy us bottles of water (with their own money, I think), and ran onfield to give us the bottles. An announcement quickly came over the PA system, forbidding anyone from coming onto the field. So only a few of us got water. The rest of us had to cope with dehydration, and plenty started fainting, getting dizzy, and had to be helped off the field.

Finally, Musa showed up - wearing a celoreng outfit. Just like us. We thought it looked weird on him. Anyway. When the program finally started, the only good speech was the first one, by the university chancellor's representative. Musa's speech was boring - things we already knew, or couldn't be bothered to know. Things such as what the physical/kenegaraan /pembinaan karakter/khidmat komuniti modules are about, what we do, what the mission and objective is, what the government planned and plans for Khidmat Negara, etc., etc.

And after Musa's speech ended, Khidmat Negara was officially over for us, the 1st Intake! The MC then announced that he would be going to a special tea break prepared for him, but we didn't care about him anymore. Never did care, actually.

We screamed with laughter, snapped pictures, hugged each other, cried, waved hands at the audience, and threw our berets in the air. We shouted our respective camps' cheers and yells, sang a few lines of the Khidmat Negara song (for some unknown reason...). Some tried to be funny and sang, "Kami anak-anak Indonesia" instead of "Kami anak-anak Malaysia".

After that, we then went to meet our families and friends. Took endless pictures. And suddenly at 6:00 pm, even with our families still there, the soldiers started blowing their whistles and yelling, OK, trainees, walk back to your dorms. Yes, that's right, walk - no buses.

As I left the stadium, I saw boxes and boxes of water bottles arranged at a corner of the stadium. I was told that the bottles had been supposed to be for us trainees, while standing onfield during the closing ceremony. Funny why they never did distribute the water.

Nighttime - Kolej A had a formal farewell party at DKP. Kolej D didn't. All we did was have a re-briefing of our departure schedules, and return our celoreng.

Ah. The returning of the celoreng. At 8:00 pm, we gathered (again!!) in front of the urusetia. Soldiers yelled at us that if anything was missing, we'd have to pay. RM 40 for the shirt, RM 30 for the pants, RM 5 for the beret, and RM 200 for the boots. I'm not sure if he was telling the truth or not.

Boys first. We girls sat right in the middle of the road until 10:30 pm, waiting for our turn. And when our turn finally came, we crammed like sardines onto the three buses available.

The Logistics building was just ... ridiculous. Only one counter available, and seemingly only one light bulb was switched on. No street lights, nothing. Everything in complete darkness except for the dim counter. And everyone yelling and cramming, trying to return their celoreng. And the system was terrible. A soldier would yell out a name from his record book, but of course his voice would be drowned out.

We shouted, Never mind the names, just let us return the packages and write our names on a piece of paper! We kept shouting, and the soldier scratched his head, and pulled out a cigarette, started fumbling with a lighter. We yelled, Oi, tabiat kotor, filthy habit! And he grinned, covered up his habit by tucking it behind his ear. "Mana ada saya merokok!" he said. But we all knew it was his nervous-and-confused reflex anyway.

The soldiers refused to use the system we suggested, and a trainee said, Bagus lagi di Ovai dulu, senang lagi sistem kami! The soldiers went berserk and shouted, Kau diam! Kami sudah satu hari tidak makan, tadi pagi Kolej A kasi balik celoreng, kalau kamu tidak puas hati, baliklah pergi Papar!

And so that system stayed. I got back to Kolej D at 11:30 pm, hot and tired. Even so, I was lucky to be among the first names called.

At the college, couples dated until 12:00 am, when the soldiers started zooming around on their motorcycles, Semua pelatih, masuk ke bilik - kecuali Blok G! (Someone's handphone had been stolen.) I'm quite sure that everyone in Blok G had to line up for a long, long time.

There was no proper farewell ceremony, of course. So 10 of us girls who had been campmates back in physical camp, got together for our own ceremony until 2:00 am. We took turns talking about each other, how sad we were to be leaving them, keep in touch, don't forget me, I'll never forget you. My Selangor friend said between tears, "Kite rase, kite ni bukan setakat kawan je - macam keluarga. Kalau boleh, kite tak nak balik langsung."

This I know is true - we all felt the same way, too.

2004-04-29T16:35:00.000+08:00

As in my brief post last night, we had a 3-hour long rehearsal last night. It was tiring, and it was painful. My shoulders, back, and knees hurt like mad. It was okay for the soldiers, being able to walk back and forth. For us, all we did was stand at attention or at ease for three hours straight. Most of the time, at attention.

"Ini menguji tahap ketahanan kamu!" declared the soldiers, trying to make us think that if we could last, then it was something worth being proud of. Well, maybe.

After we got back, an announcement came over the PA system, telling us all to get into our rooms. Our facis, they said, would be coming to deliver our YES2NS cards to us. And yes, I have my card now. To my knowledge, none in Kolej D have photos on their cards, although they sent in their pictures. Perhaps the letters they sent didn't arrive on time. It's okay anyway, we're all delighted about the cards, and wear them everywhere. (Seriously! We really do.)

Went to Taman Seri Putri today, and were requested by our jurulatih to be on our best behaviour. Apparently, the previous NS group before us had gotten into a fight amongst themselves. "Mungkin orang-orang di sini berpendapat kita pun sama dengan kumpulan sebelum kita ... jadi kamu jaga-jagalah tingkahlaku, ah, nanti. Bagus-bagus kamu nanti, OK?" said my jurulatih.

Lunch was rice, a few pieces of vegetables, half a fried fish, and half a duck's egg. And a badly bruised apple. We all still felt hungry, but were thankful that our food was only delayed an hour, and got to eat by 1:30 pm. Yesterday's group only got to eat at 2:30 pm.

A girl from Kolej A told me of 16 girls simultaneously getting struck by hysteria, a while ago. I wanted to know the details but I drifted off to play badminton.

We didn't even meet anyone from Taman Seri Putri. They were all preparing for some minister's visit at 2 pm, so we spent the time playing volleyball, badminton, and football amongst ourselves. We didn't meet even one Taman Seri Putri resident. Not one.

Streetlights are off at night now. Poked my head out of my window and saw a couple kissing. More power to you! You can't help but admire them for being that brave. According to some other friends, they even kiss with the streetlights, so having no streetlights is a bonus. I cannot help but be impressed.

As for the closing ceremony. My position in line is rather visible to the audience. Which may mean trouble because I will choose not to raise my hands during the doa selamat. I have no idea what will happen to me, but I'll do it anyway. I believe that Malaysia has religious freedom. I respect Islam, and I respect my own Christianity too. I choose not to raise my hands. I will stand at attention. This, I think, pays respect to both Islam and Christianity at the same time.

Tomorrow evening is the closing ceremony. There may be a farewell party on Friday night? But maybe there won't be. We'll see. Kolej A's farewell party is tonight. Kolej D, I think, won't have one. We'll see. We'll see.

2004-04-29T09:38:00.000+08:00

7.30 pm, to stadium for penutupan rehersals. Stood there for 3 hours, until 10.30 pm. Shoulders, back, knees hurt. Askars yelling at us, asking us to do and redo moves while he decided which ones looked better, weather or not to do this and that and made us redo the whole thing whenever HE made mistake in program flow.

Doa selamat for Muslims next. "Muslim ke, tak Muslim, semua angkat tangan!" they barked at us. As a Christian, i chose not to. As a result, three askars spotted me, and advanced towards me. One yelled at me, "Hoi, angkat tangan! Muslim ke, tak Muslim, semua mesti angkat tangan!"

The same thing will happen all over Malaysia this Friday evening, no joke. I dont know if anyone is going to appeal and do something about it. But in the name of religious freedom, I hope someone does.

2004-04-28T17:42:00.000+08:00

While signing in at the cybercafe, signed in as Grace Kelly - yes, really! - and made up a random IC number, on the spot. The person behind the counter didn't so much as bat an eyelash at this. However, I got placed at a computer terminal right next to three loudspeakers blasting a CD (pirated, of course) by Megadeth.

My entire block was held back again last night, but for only 10 minutes. The soldiers shouted, OK, thief, give it up by 1.00 am tonight, or the entire block lines up again at 1 am.

We didn't have to line up at 1 am. Either the thief did give it up, or the soldiers didn't wake up.

Found out that on Monday night, a block in Kolej A was woken up at 2 am, and had to line up until 4 am. Right after our session in Kolej D ended.

And last night, a boys' block in Kolej A had to do push-ups at 3 am. Some boy's sijil premium (we get our RM 300 allowance in the form of Sijil Premium BSN) got stolen. That's just silly. You can't claim the money unless you have the owner's identity card. Stealing a sijil premium is pretty useless, except for revenge purposes.

On Monday night, by the way, one of the things the soldiers yelled at us was the fact that 12 girls in Kolej D are pregnant, di manakah kehormatan kamu semua?! Hah? Kamu tak malu ke?

I was shocked to hear this, but Vera next to me simply raised her eyebrows and remarked, "You mean you don't know?"

I knew one girl was pregnant, but I didn't know about the other 11.

Vera tells me, back in physical camp, some of these girls would go into the boys toilets. And then - well. The boy boasted to his friend, and his friend told Vera. And Vera told me. Apparently some boys also managed to enter the girls' camp area at night for some action. (There are a few empty camps, by the way.)

"So some people here are parents - together?" I spluttered. Vera confirmed this with a nod of her head. I felt like someone had just hit me on the head with a volume of the Encyclopedia Britannica.

Other stories from Vera - some girls were caught fighting the other day. It started with just two people, who both happened to be, respectively, a karate black belt and a taekwondo black belt. "The sparring was very cantik one," said Vera. The room was turned upside down, water sprayed all over (from water bottles), chairs upturned, clothes thrown all over.

The fight soon expanded to seven against one, and the one girl somehow hid in the ceiling rafters above her room. The seven searched for her, and when they left, she quickly scurried down, ran down two flights of stairs, got spotted by the seven, and jumped from the first floor to the ground. Ran to the faci's room, tailed by the seven. And all eight got caught.

Vera also explains the concept of "cinta kontrak", a phenomenon unique to NS. A boy and a girl get together, both knowing that each already has a boyfriend/girlfriend. And they agree to be an 'item' throughout NS, and after NS ... habis kontrak.

Today's bun on the way to Community Service at the UMS Library was pretty good. Yesterday's wasn't. I don't bite into my bun, I tear off pieces and stuff them into my mouth. So, by doing this, I spotted black fuzzy stuff on top of what little filling there was. Mould. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have eaten the bun ... but I hadn't had any breakfast. Hungry people can't afford to be picky. I scraped off the mould with my nail, and ate the bun. Tasted funny, but didn't get stomachache.

Was knocked speechless by the UMS Library. Best library I've seen yet.

We were led to a mini-theatre room and a librarian explained the library to us. The rules, the fees, the number of days a member can borrow books, that sort of stuff. I caught myself nodding off a few too many times. Finally, they showed a video about UMS - how it began, Mahathir doing the groundbreaking ceremony, the convocations, the rising number of graduates, telling us that UMS is the prettiest university campus in Asia, the programs available at UMS, that sort of thing.

And then, given the grand tour of the building. Very nice. And very cold air conditioning. Also a really beautiful part of the building, "Nobel Laureates" - dedicated to Nobel laureates, of course.

For community service, we formed a human chain, passing up student theses from the ground floor to the first floor. I don't know how many books I passed, but my arms hurt slightly by the time I was done. Felt good, though. Felt like I had actually achieved something. This is the nice thing about throwing yourself into Community Service - you feel like you've actually done something, though it isn't much. When you don't cooperate and just stand back, you tend to ask yourself, What was that for anyway? Why am I here?

Some friends went to the Botanical and Zoological Park today. "Lagi teruk dari kem oh," she told me. "Tanam anak pokok balak! Naik bukit curam lagi bah tu, punya gila. Mau terjatuh-jatuh kami naik bukit, sampai terpeluk dengan orang lain. Punya panas sana. Tambah hitam lah saya ni! Apalah diorang tu, mengambil kesempatan dalam kesempitan kami."

On to the Sabah State Library in the evening. Didn't do any community service, but got a tour of the place. Very nice. And a very nice exhibition on Czech children's books illustrations. Too nice. I promised myself that I'd go back to visit before the exhibit ends on the 5th of May.

We were supposed to have rehearsal for our closing ceremony today, at 5:00 pm. We were all ready, then suddenly someone announced over the PA system: ditangguhkan to 7:30 pm. Gah! Oh, well. Look on the bright side: More free time.

Kolej A received their YES2NS cards last night, and some trainees wore them around their necks today during Community Service. (The cards can be slotted into blue cardholders, and attached to lanyards.) Kolej D is, naturally, very envious. Wonder when we'll get ours. Only four trainees out of the 600+ Kolej A trainees have their pictures on their cards. The rest just have their names.

We're not allowed to wear our celoreng pants around anymore. Sarjan Misai yelled, I don't want to see anyone from Kolej D wearing celoreng pants until majlis terima sijil on Friday!

What about the celoreng top? asked someone.

Pakai baju celoreng dengan seluar kelas? Gila kah? said the soldier, and we all laughed.

We have to return the baju celoreng before leaving for home. We all wanted the pants, but oh well, looks like it's not going to happen.

We may get our baju kelas and seluar kelas, but nobody's keen on them. The pants are awful - "carrot cut". Huge at the top, and taper at the end. But the belt is nice. Don't care about the shirt or pants. Would like to keep the belt.

Five more minutes left in the cybercafe. Got to run now.

2004-04-27T15:23:00.000+08:00

Last night was awful. After coming back from Khidmat Komuniti, I was taking a shower as a facilitator announced over the loudspeakers, semua wirawati from my block had to line up in front of the urusetia building. Cursing, I quickly scrubbed off and washed up, dried myself, and threw on my clothes. Other girls were running in the corridors, cursing worse and louder than myself.

So we lined up. The facilitators were chatting away with each other in front of us, while we rolled our eyes in disgust and impatience. The tea van that had delivered cakes and tea to the 2nd Intake trainees earlier still had cakes left over, and gave some to us. Small puffy green cakes with a bit of shredded coconut. Very nice. I ate four.

After lining up for an hour and a quarter, the facilitators finally turned to us, and asked, Everyone here? (No, some still hadn't returned from Khidmat Komuniti.) A soldier named Nizam started his usual rubbish - telling us to stand up, squat, stand up in sync, and fast. If we weren't quick enough for him, we had to do it all over again. And he kept on his spiel, while we kept yelling, Why? Why are we here? And finally he said, Uhm, yeah, anyway, what we wanted to tell you was, all of you have to line up here again in 2 hours time, at 8:15 pm.

At 8:15 pm, we gathered again. All girls this time, from Blocks B, C, and D. But only my block got held back, while they tried to interview girls, searching for a handphone thief. A girl's handphone had gotten stolen on Sunday morning. Either she kicked up a huge fuss, or the facis finally decided that too many handphones had been stolen - and so we've been lining up since Sunday night.

We were told to line up, standing up, while the victim went into the urusetia office. Suspects were called out of line, one by one. I think there were close to 20 suspects altogether. From 'known thieves' to those who were unlucky enough to have rooms no the same floor as the victim.

A soldier named Rinus a/k Anen, and Nizam walked back and forth in front and among us. Rinus started gabbling nonstop - honestly, it gets unbelievable when you hear someone talking for two hours straight. "Perempuan sangat leceh - itu sebabnya saya tak suka ambil perempuan time senaman pagi" and all that stuff. And lots of other MCP (male chauvinist pig) comments, about how girls are stupid and thieving girls stupider. But then again, he kept having sentences with "Bini saya..." "Bini saya.." "Bini saya kata..." "Saya dan bini saya..." and "Anak bini saya..." and "Anak buah saya..." Eventually we got sick of listening about his family, and muttered to each other, If he hates females so much, why did he get married anyway?

A friend joked to me, Queen control. His wife's got him twisted around her, but he doesn't know it. And we shared tactics on how to pass time when being yelled at - imagine the person in his underwear, with red polka dots. And acting prissy and like a nancy boy. It worked, and we shook in gales of silent laughter.

By 11:00 pm, we were getting tired of it, and someone yelled, Bodoh! Nizam turned vile and started shouting at the top of his voice at us, joined by Rinus. They let us sit down instead of stand up, then they yelled that they were just carrying out orders, and we were wrong to call them bodoh. (They might have a point there.)

A squat, fat Chinese guy, probably a university resident, stopped by and asked, "Kenapa kamu masih di sini?" at all of us. We told him that they were looking for a thief, and he started preaching to us, See, that's what happens, one of you does wrong and everyone gets involved. Yang pencuri itu ingat mungkin tiada olang (orang) tahu, tapi Tuhan tahu!! Tengok sekalang (sekarang), kamu telpaksa belbalis sampai tengah malam.

We, the trainees, just glanced at each other and muttered, Who's he, anyway? My friend scrabbled for something to insult, and chose his white T-shirt with the drawing of an elephant and the words "Thailand" under it - she muttered to me, "He went to Thailand, bought that shirt, and only wears it around on campus at night, when he thinks nobody's looking? Bodohnya."

One of the soldiers started walking back and forth in front of us, staring freely at our breasts. I pulled my jacket tighter towards myself, to hint, I know what you're doing. Instead, he said, "Bagus, tahu pun sejuk, sudah sedia pakai jaket." (Uhm, duh.)

A girl took out a bag of keropok, and Rinus snatched it, took a handful, and gave it back to her. "Saya tidak tahu malu," he announced proudly to us.

A suspect left the urusetia office, yelling, "Siapa bah ni pencuri, tidak tahu malu!?" Walked straight into a nearby Kolej C dorm, into the toilets, and started banging around. We saw her wipe away a tear just before going in. (Kolej A friends told us via sms - we had our handphones while sitting in the parking lot - that from their experience, all suspects were immediately treated as if they were the thieves - Cakap! Kau yang curi, kan?! Kurang ajar! In such a harsh way, that 'besi pun boleh lebur').

Finally at 12:30 am, we got out of line. All of us were hating the soldiers by then. "Ego," said one of my friends, "Ego. Bukan tinggi sangat pangkat dia tu, korporal saja pun."

They yelled at us, Thief, give it up. Either hand in the phone by 7:00 am tomorrow, or the entire block goes to the special camp for delinquents. This, I think, is an empty threat. They can't send 100+ girls to the special camp, just because they don't have enough evidence to pinpoint one thief. And who knows, maybe the thief is staying in a different block.

Only had to wait 10 minutes before boarding the bus this morning. On to Majlis Daerah Kota Belud, to paint the sides of the road black and white. At first we groaned, Oh no. But soon we changed our minds. It was actually loads of fun, and by the time we were done, the place looked so nice. The datuk in charge of us was the oddest leader we ever had - he actually shouted at us, and his other colleagues. You'd think that he'd be thankful we were doing this for the town - but no?

We got lunch early today, at around 11:45 am. Rice, vegetables, half a fried fish, and two-thirds of a chicken sausage. And an apple. Not as good as yesterday's chicken rice, but enough to keep us sustained, I guess.

A Semenanjung girl (Selangor) searched for a good view of Mount Kinabalu and found it - asked us to take her picture, with her gesturing towards it "Ta-da! This is Kinabalu!" A boy grinned and said to us, "Faham-fahamlah, orang jauh..."

We asked the boy, Don't you want to take a picture?

No, he said, I'm from Kota Marudu. I can see the mountain from there. (You can see Kinabalu from pretty much anywhere in Sabah, weather permitting.)

Then he handed me his camera and asked me to take his picture.

Spotted a restaurant called Chicken King, with the following catchphrase: Tastes Kingly! Laughed and laughed. It made my day.

Took pictures in front of the local tokong. There were three of us in the picture - Beatrice hesitated, "Tapi, inda bagus kalau 3 orang dalam gambar," referring to the superstition that one would die, or a ghost would appear in the picture - but we, the other 2, yanked her arm and said, "Never mind about that, say cheeeese!"

One of us bought a newspaper, and all of us were all over it. We haven't read a newspaper - any newspaper - in weeks. Saw pictures of NS trainees doing community service, in the Sabah/Sarawak section of the paper. We were just getting excited, wondering if it was us - then read the caption of it being in Sarawak. Oh, well.

Got home early today, straight back after lunch. Third day in a row, a bus with bad air conditioning. It's a sauna in there. I had to take a shower as soon as I got back.

A friend - we were campmates during the physical module - went into my room and started chatting, while rifling through my desk drawer. Suddenly she started giggling, and I looked up and was horrified to see her reading my journal - which contains all the material I refer to when I blog. Started throwing 'safe' objects such as my dirty socks at her while yelling, "Jangan baca! Jangan baca!" But all she did was smile and keep on reading. I would've snatched it away, but was too polite to.

"I want a photocopy of this," she said, and told me she'd give me some money for it later. I'm not sure whether I should accept the money later, or tell her to forget it, now run along.

Anyway. Lovely, being able to come back early from Khidmat Komuniti. Lots of time at the cybercafe. (They hiked up their prices from RM 2.50 to RM 3.00 recently.) 2 hours!!

I miss eating bosou and tuhau - two Sabahan dishes which you'll either love or hate. Also pisang goreng, and doughnuts. I've stopped eating breakfast and dinner here - I only eat the Khidmat Komuniti lunch.

Ah, yes. The boy hovering over my shoulder. Let's just call him The Boy for now. Last night I got annoyed at him because he got annoyed at me (don't ask me how that's supposed to work, because I don't know.). He got annoyed at me because I told him to go away, don't watch what I'm doing on the computer. You understand, of course, that I try to keep my blogging secret. He thought I was avoiding him, or whatever it is that a boy thinks. Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. Moving on ...

Our 'terima sijil' day is on 30 April, which means our last day of Khidmat Komuniti is Thursday. And our rehearsal is on Wednesday. We'll be going home on Saturday, 1 May. Rumour is that the Semenanjung trainees will only be going back on 2 May ... but then again, it's a rumour. We'll probably all be going off on the same day.

Suddenly realise that I should be responding to the comments I get, instead of just reading them, feeling happy, then doing nothing. I'll start responding now, in the comments box. Seriously, I should've done so from earlier on, I have no idea why I didn't think of it. ^_^

Love your comments, and love the fact that people are actually reading this blog.

2004-04-26T18:20:00.000+08:00

note: (updated, 27 April ... but not much.)

First, I must apologize if today's entry is slightly unusual. It's not easy to type as someone hovers over your shoulder. Yes, I am annoyed. But there's no polite way to chase the person off, I think.

NS does have trainers/facilitators from BTN. We had them during our last week at physical training camp, a week of Modul Kenegaraan.

Nothing much over the weekend. On Saturday, the bus was supposed to pick us up from church at 12 pm. But the bus only showed up at 4:20 pm. We didn't really mind, sitting around in church and playing the piano.

And on Sunday, the karaoke finals. Solo and duet. Some very good singers, some not so good. A facilitator named Azhar sang Keabadian Cinta very badly, and some boys yelled, "Kembang bulu!" when he started singing. It was that bad.

A duet couple started singing, and then it started raining - "Tahniah! Anda berjaya panggil hujan!" yelled the same group of boys.

Sunday night, all girls were told to line up. Semua wirawati Kolej D dikehendaki berbaris di hadapan urusetia pada jam 10 malam. We thought this was ridiculous. The announcement was at 8:50 pm, why not line up then? We didn't have any other program anyway.

So we showed up at 10 pm, and all of our rooms got spotchecked. We were told to hand in our keys, and locker keys too. Our rooms were thoroughly searched. They even searched inside our shoes and combat boots.

My block's spotcheck ended at 11:30 pm. The last block's spotcheck ended at 1:00 am. Very tiring, and annoying. We sat on the road outside, while the facis checked inside. They didn't find any handphones, but they found a knife inside a combat boot from Blok D. (Nobody admits to owning it, though they know whose room it's from.)

More community service today. But today, my group only had to wait for about 10 minutes before boarding the bus - because we were one of the first called. I'm sure the others had to wait the usual hour or so.

Our facilitator cheerfully said to us, OK, kita nyanyi dulu, baru breakfast, OK? Nobody brought the song lyrics that had been distributed the other day, and nobody wanted to sing anyway. Finally he said All right, here's the bag, and gave us the usual black trash bag filled with buns. One bun each.

We were assigned an area in Kota Belud today, about an hour away from UMS. But before getting there, all the buses stopped at one point, the bus drivers got out and grouped together - and from just watching them, we could tell that they were lost. Fourth Community Service day in a row.

We went to a pusat pelancongan that didn't look like one, and were instructed to cut grass, pick up trash, etc. The usual works. And then, off to the Kota Belud tamu for lunch. The tamu, of course, was deserted except for us. It's not tamu day today. We arrived at 11:45 pm, and after 15 minutes, started wondering where lunch was. All there was were boxes of drinking water, and plastic bags of apples and mandarin oranges.

Some of us hadn't been able to have a full breakfast, thanks to the short breakfast time in the morning, including myself. Got hungrier and hungrier as time passed by, and all the facilitators did was sit around. Finally, at around 1:00 pm a facilitator decided to use his own handphone to telephone I-don't-know-who. And found out that the bus bringing our food was lost, and was currently at the Kota Belud police station.

Finally ate at 1:30 pm, all of us hungry and upset. Chicken rice. It was actually quite good, but wish that we hadn't had to wait for an hour and a half.

Oh, bloody hell. I can't write. Not with someone hovering next to me. Doesn't matter if he only understands half my English - the point is, he's there. This'll just have to wait for tomorrow. I'll edit this post tomorrow and add more stuff. I'm sorry.

2004-04-23T17:59:00.000+08:00

There's a cough going around the dorm. I myself am coughing up green gunk, from my nose and my throat. No use asking for help from our SLF's - Sambil Lewa Facis.

And the toilets. Bits of shit stuck to the toilet bowls. "Shit pits," we joke. Kind of puzzled at why university toilets are of the squat variety, and without tissue paper. And not so clean. Sinks clogged, occasionally someone vomits and clogs it up more. Ugh. Mirrors dirty and blackened (for real), and you have to search for clear spots in order to see your reflection. Ceilings mouldy, from leaking pipes. Some ceiling panels missing, piping visible. Kind of puzzled at why this should happen in a university.

Ground floor toilets are smelly. Cigarette smoke. Our company leader and her friends smoke regularly in the toilets, during the daytime. And in the night, they head for the staircases. The smell of smoke is constantly there.

Boys get off the bus and start smoking during Khidmat Komuniti bus pit stops. Our facis yell at this, but they don't stop anyway.

Havoc while picking up clothes from laundry service last night. Packages strewn all over shelf and ground, mixed up. Unwashed and washed got mixed up. No wonder some trainees complain of losing their clothes at the laundry, or getting exchanged. After about 40 minutes of sweating and waiting (rugi saja mandi), I gave up waiting politely and joined the hordes searching for their own stuff. Located it, signed book, dumped my receipt under the sign book. I wouldn't send my clothes to the laundry, if not for the current evening rain. I need some kind of guarantee my clothes will be dry by the next morning.

Not allowed to jemur kain in our rooms, as our rule book explicitly tells us. But who cares? We all hang out clothes at our windows, in our rooms, everything. Even windows overlooking the road. The girls won't hang their underwear at the windows, but the boys will.

Some friends complained to me of getting huge celoreng uniforms. Size 44 on a size 28 waist - one of my friends. She groaned to me, You could fit three of me in those pants. Fortunately, I managed to get my size 44 exchanged for a smaller size that night. I don't know why so many girls are stuck with size 44 pants.

Last night at around midnight, a soldier and 2 facis kicked violently on my friends' 4-person room until they woke up. "Diorang tendang tu pintu sampai macam mau roboh," my friend remarked to me later. Lots of other trainees heard the racket, but I didn't. I slept hard. Anyway - the soldier and 2 facis then proceeded to rummage through their cupboards, before concluding, "Tiada di sini - di bilik lain mungkin."

Ani told me today they had been looking for a person (in a cupboard?) because "ada kes perempuan pukul perempuan". And another friend, Clare, heard yelling at around 3:30 am. A soldier was yelling at a - female, presumably - trainee, "Muka saja elok, tapi perangai buruk!"

Vivi from Kolej A told me that they were told to gather in front of the dewan makan at 11 pm last night. Those sleeping had to wake up and line up anyway. They were all very annoyed at "being kacau-ed". Turned out that someone's handphone had been stolen, and the facis yelled at one at all: Menyerah diri, or it won't be pretty when we do a spotcheck and catch you. Of course no one stepped forward, and of course there was no spotcheck.

Noor told me that once, her foot started swelling up at night during Program Kebudayaan. They went to the faci for help, but "tu faci buat sambil lewa saja, sambung bercerita dengan kawan dia." Finally Noor's friend yelled loudly, attracting attention, "Kau tidak nampak kah kaki dia sakit, mau bengkak sudah?!" Everyone stared, and the faci quickly scurried off for help.

I told Noor it reminded me of Clare getting sick. One full week. Her faci promised to get some medicine for her - "Nanti saya bawa" - but never showed. Clare, too, used the words "diorang buat sambil lewa saja".

Noor continued to tell me about a story that happened at Kolej B. A girl got very sick, demam, couldn't go for morning exercise. So a soldier barged into her locked room, opened it with a key. She was only dressed in her bra and underwear. "Nasib baik saya pakai bra tu hari, selalunya saya tidak pakai," said the girl later. Of course, she was furious on the invasion, and reported it to the faci. Faci said of the soldier, "Kita tunggu dia buat 1 kali lagi, baru kita buat laporan. Maaf sajalah, dik." Well, sorry sure as hell isn't enough. And concerning the underwear - the door was locked, it's her right to be fully dressed or half dressed or fully undressed behind the locked door.

Breakfast is now from 6:30 am to 7:15 am. Much better. More time.

As usual, we started lining up outside the dewan makan at 7:15 am. And after our compulsory 1 hour of waiting, got on the bus at 8:40 am. Fortunately, this time we got to wait under the shade for half an hour, before being frittered under the sun for the other half. This is actually an improvement. It used to be that we had to be frittered the entire hour. National Service ought to provide sunscreen to us trainees, with the highest SPF available to mankind. And preferably with a non-greasy base, please and thank you very much.

While lining up, a soldier suddenly swatted a girl over the head with his beret, then grinned broadly at her furious face. For no reason. And while going to the buses, another soldier hit a girl on the shoulder with his diary. "Aduh, sakit bah tu!" she yelled. I cannot believe this, but it happened right in front of me. If someone told me so, I probably wouldn't believe them. But I saw it. Right in front of me.

My group was one of the last to board the buses, headed for the yet-to-be-opened Sabah Botanical and Zoological Park. On the bus, like all other buses, our jurulatih passed around photocopied sheets of A5 paper. And we had to sing "Berjaya" and "Keranamu Malaysia", lyrics on the sheets. "Nyanyi dulu, baru boleh makan kuih!" said our jurulatih cheerfully, while we groaned. The boys then proceeded to twist the line "Pakar IT, pakar ekonomi" into "Pakar IT, pakar pornografi".

Got lost for the third day in a row. Dozed off while listening to the jurulatih asking a local trainee, "Kiri, kanan?" regarding which direction to take. Other trainees gleefully yelled, "Kiri!" to make it sound like marching Kiri, Kanan, Kiri. The jurulatih pleaded, Serious lah sikit! And the trainee scratched his head and mumbled, "Um, kiri mungkin, bang."

The bus driver yelled, "Apa ni, gila kah, naik bukit curam tu!" They then got off the bus to ask for instructions from the local villagers. "Bukan kiri, bukan kanan - jalan lurus," said the villagers. Oh.

"Hari-hari sesat, alang-alang tak payah Khidmat Komuniti," griped a trainee. Nobody said anything.

A fairly new place, I think. We could still smell the paint on the main building. We also used the toilets, interestingly marked "Man" and "Woman" instead of "Male" and "Female".

Started work at 10:30 am, shovelling dead leaves and caked dirt on the road. Found a baby snake, red head and black everything else, with white rings. The boys were all for killing it, but the girls insisted on letting it go. (They let it go.) We also cleared drains that were at first unrecognisable from the rest of the landscape. Had no idea a drain was there, it was THAT clogged.

Some boys also used grasscutters to cut grass, and were soaked in sweat after finishing their work. They requested that the bus bring them back to UMS for Friday prayers, so that they could go back to the dorms for a fresh change of clothes. "Tengok lah dulu," the jurulatih told them.

Ended work at 11:15 am, to make time for the Muslim trainees to go to the mosque. But before that - lunch in 1 plastic container. Rice, half a duck's egg, half a fried fish, and pickled cucumbers. I don't mean to complain, but I still felt hungry after eating.

After lunch, we rested until 2 pm, watching a documentary and eating Super Ice Cream Potong. Lovely, this ice cream, especially the red bean variety. It's the only form of red bean I'll eat. Red bean and durian available at the park.

And then, a tour of the place! We went to a small building with plenty of animals inside - tigers, bears, sloths, pythons, eagles, peacocks, the works. The tigers fur didn't look bright and clean. Their fur looked kind of ... dirty blackened orange.

There was a cage of chickens next to the snakes, and a few girls squealed, "Eee, kesian oh tu, tu ayam kena makan tu ular lah tu nanti?" The boys retorted, "Kesian apa, sendiri juga makan ayam."

One cage had three men inside, fixing it and putting together logs for the animals - a future cage for the tigers, I guess. We giggled and whispered to each other, "Spesis apa yang di dalam tu?" Our jurulatih overheard us, grinned, and said, "Manusia terbiar."

Also a huge netted area with birds and deer inside. And we were told there were giraffes and zebras at one area too, but it started raining and we couldn't go. Instead, we stayed at the orangutan cage, playing with Otto, Pupi, and Girl. The boys copied the sounds the orangutans made, and the girls laughed at them, saying, "Samalah! Sama! Saudara kah?"

There were also elephants. Huge enclosure, but their right feet were chained. Couldn't help but pity them about the chains around their feet. The chains didn't look very comfortable.

As I left for the cybercafe, the boys at Blok H were whooping with glee at the downpour of rain. They had disconnected the two fire hoses, managed to start them up, and were spraying each other, dancing in the rain, running up and down the stairs, and around the clotheslines. Some even brought out soap and shampoo, and started washing up under the rain. We girls watched on jealously. We would've started our own main hujan session, but were too prudish. Instead, we sat on the railings outside our block, basking in the downpour. Other trainees passed by, gave us the thumbs up and "Yeaaaaahhh~~!!"

I don't think I'll be posting over the weekend. Nothing happens over the weekend. We have regular Khidmat Komuniti scheduled for Saturday morning, and also a "Malam Mesra Dengan Komandan" on Saturday night. Then the karaoke and football finals on Sunday morning.

And yes, feel free to link to this blog. I get happy when people link to me.

2004-04-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

Told to gather at front of dewan makan at 7:15 am, and waited for full hour - again!!!! - before getting on buses. Some were lucky to get under the shade, others were smack in the middle of the road, sweating buckets.

At our assigned area, cleaned up the local masjid. Burnt trash, swept the ground outside, etc. And after lunch at the local beach, went back to the assigned area and played volleyball with the villagers.

But before going back for volleyball, we stopped by a farm for - watermelons! Our facilitator said, Okay, my treat, let's eat watermelons. Freshly picked, deliciously juicy. We said, Wah, faci baru terima gaji kah? He just grinned at us and admitted to us, Belum lagi dapat elaun ni. Makan sajalah, saya belanja.

A military truck and police car passed by us, saw us eating watermelons. They smiled at us, gave us the thumbs up sign. We were delighted to receive such acknowledgement, and waved back enthusiastically.

Before getting back to UMS, stopped by a town to buy stuff. I only bought an ice cream cone. All of us waited at a bus stop, waiting for our bus to come back and pick us up. Cars would pass by, honk, and the people inside would smile and wave at us, and we'd wave back.

When I finally got back to UMS, crestfallen to see ground wet from rain. My clothes have been wet for the past 2 days! Took my clothes off the washing line, hung them in my room to dry by fan.

Puzzled to see two boys being lined up, berkawat, in front of urusetia building. Sopping wet, soaking wet, wet to the bone. They must've been doing kawat since it started raining. One of the soldiers from yesterday's bus incident was prancing around (dry, of course), yelling at them. He yelled, told them to run from here to a certain point about 50 m away, and back. Over and over again, yelling insults at them. Kind of impressed yet disgusted by his vast collection of shouts and insults. They had to run, sit on the ground, etc. We all pitied them, but couldn't do anything to help them. I just hope they don't catch a cold.

Pleasantly surprised to discover that this blog is syndicated through LiveJournal. http://www.livejournal.com/users/dreamsome_oi/ Thank you very much!

And thank you everyone, for your support, and comments. I will try my best to continue blogging about NS.

2004-04-21T18:32:00.000+08:00

Sorry about not blogging on Thursday. This is my backlog of what happened that day.

About contact lenses in camp - yes, it's possible. I would wake up at 5 am, wash my face, brush my teeth, etc. Running water. And walk back to camp with clean hands, and immediately put my contact lens on. Used my own small mirror as a guide.

Lined up for an hour - again - before finally getting on our buses. The usual black trash bag was passed around, one bun each. Also a box of water bottles.

Arrived at 10:30 am at our assigned area this morning, after getting lost thrice. Stopped by two police stations to ask for instructions. A few trainees from that particular area knew the route. Later when I asked that trainee, he said, "Tiada orang tanya saya, saya pun tiada cakap lah."

At the assigned area, we sat around for a while, waiting for something to do. The villagers told us they had been unprepared for our arrival, and apologised for not preparing any programs or food. We sat around from 10:30 am to 12:00 pm, waiting for our lunch from UMS to arrive. Most of us slept while leaning on the wall or sprawled on the balai raya bleachers.

After lunch ended at 2:00 pm, we walked around, picked up a few pieces of trash. Each person picked up an average of 1 piece of trash.

Other groups had gone to Kota Belud, Tamparuli, etc. Tamparuli group had walked across the famous Jambatan Tamparuli ... although the bridge in the famous song has long since collapsed. They also shoveled the drains in front of the balai raya, swept roads, and gleefully ran for cover in the stores when the rain started coming down. Rain = no need to do any more community service, you see.

Went to have pizza with my friend at Kolej A. Walked all the way there from Kolej D to Kolej A, and used the public phone to telephone the local Pizza Hut. One regular Hawaiian Chicken pizza, Classic crust. Excellent.

Got back to my Kolej D at 6:30 pm. Three facis stopped me, because I was walking alone. Where are you from, where are you going? Kolej A to Kolej D. Why? Pizza with friends. They let me pass, but mutter curses about girls 'merayau-rayau masa gelap'. I know they have a point, but I still insist that it wasn't dark.

Had to walk past the red-uniformed security guards. They asked which college I was from (again), and also muttered about girls merayau-rayau. They asked who I met at Kolej A (a girl), and accuse me of lying. This is a fact of life: we prefer scandals. Say you met a boy, scandal. Say you met a girl, they think you're lying, scandal anyway. "Memang saya jumpa perempuan, tapi kalau kamu tidak percaya, macam mana lagi?" I finally exclaim, and walk off. I hear them say loudly to each other, "Sombong juga tu budak tu." Doesn't matter to me.

8 pm, girls asked to line up in front of urusetia, and told that we would be bused to Logistics for our fatigues!! Of course, we get the ones we had worn back in camp. But not our own. We were given fatigues picked from random from black trash bags. The only thing they asked for our size was, our combat boots. That was the only thing we could choose.

On the bus to Logistics, we had 2 military escorts. I know their names, am tempted to name them here - but worry about getting in trouble. When the bus started and jerked, they pretended to lose balance and fall on us girls. We screamed, and they just laughed.

At first I was given a size 15 shirt and a size 44 pair of pants! I exclaimed, No, I can't wear these pants. You could've fit three of me in those pants. So they let me exchange my pants for a size 28.

Exchanged with another friend. She took my size 28, I took her size 26. This size 26 fits me nicely. My size 26 back at physical camp didn't fit well, it was only held up by my hipbones. Strange - they're supposed to be the same size, but they're not. All our uniforms are like that. Supposed to be the same size, yet different measurements. The joke here is, "Biasalah... buatan Malaysia."

Fatigues and boots stink. Not washed at all. The pair of boots I got even had a dirty worsted grey sock in one of them. We're all displeased about not getting back our own fatigues, why didn't they tell us to bring them from physical camp straight to the university? Why return them at all, if they were going to give them back to us anyway? Sure, lighter luggage ... but there's all those skin diseases to think of. And lice in our berets, maybe? Yuk. Yuk.

2004-04-20T17:47:00.000+08:00

Very strange. Now when I go into the cybercafe, we have to write down our names, IC numbers, and college letter (A, B, C, or D) in a book.

Sometimes I worry that the secretariat will find out about my blog, track me down, and get me into some sort of punishment. An extra 3 months in the special camp for NS delinquents? Nonstop kawat from morning? A ban from the cybercafe?

There's a faci dating a trainee here. A friend pointed them out, right outside the urusetia office, as I was heading to the cybercafe. That's not all. One of the soldiers is also dating a trainee. We see them around, mornings and nights. They're the only two who get away with dating.

And here I am in the cybercafe right now, in my baggy cargo pants and sweater. Normally, I'd wear jeans and one of thos small shirts that almost every girl wears. But not anymore. A couple of nights ago, it was announced that "wirawati tidak dibenarkan memakai pakaian ketat lagi. Wirawati hanya boleh memakai pakaian longgar." Oh well. If things go as they always do, I'll be able to go back to my usual clothes next week.

Khidmat Komuniti, Community Service started today. Lined up for about an hour before we were finally allowed to get into our buses. Hot sun, lots of sweat, all of us silently cursing. We would have cursed out loud, if not for the soldiers.

Ah. The soldiers. Remember how they said NS wouldn't be a military-conscript kind of thing? I don't know, but there seems to be some similarities. Trainees would be standing in line, budge an inch, and a soldier would roughly push the trainee.

Once, I saw a 3rd Intake trainee come late for morning exercise. The trainee was made to crouch onto the ground like a criminal, head bowed, hands behind neck ... while two soldiers repeatedly slapped and pushed his head. If the trainee had been from the 1st Intake, he would've fought back. But being from the 3rd Intake and fairly new, the trainee probably didn't fight back because he thought it was the norm.

The soldiers seem to enjoy yelling - no, barking - at us at the top of their voices. "Bodoh!" "Diam dalam barisan!" "Dah umur 18 tahun ke belum ni? Jalan terhegeh-hegeh!" Sarjan Misai has a beret with feathers sticking out of it. We sort of hate him, and joke that it's a dead bird on his beret. Or that it's a feather duster, no wonder our dorms don't have any feather dusters for the windows, that's where the duster went.

Boys get yelled at in the dewan makan. Especially this morning, for breakfast - just because their shirts weren't tucked in. On average, they get yelled at for about 8 minutes each (I timed them). It kind of makes everyone lose their appetite, listening to the soldiers yelling abuse.

Speaking of food, I didn't eat dinner last night. Because I found a small caterpillar, yes, a caterpillar in my rice. Not a worm, not a maggot. A caterpillar. What's a caterpillar doing in my rice, I'd like to know? It ought to be on a rosebush, thank you very much, not in my rice. On other occasions, have found small bits of pebbles, twigs, and hair in my food, especially the vegetables and curry. These days we're so used to hair in food, we just go ahead and eat if the hair is straight and long. If it's short and curly ... no thank you.

But I guess it's not so bad, compared to what my friend got during 1st Intake at Shansui, Tawau physical camp. They found broken bits of glass in their food.

Just found out that a 3rd Intake trainee (male) slipped into a girl's room and "mengambil kesempatan", while they were still here at UMS. That's all I know. These things, we only hear whispered behind the faci and soldiers' backs. We know very little of what happens.

Oh, yes. Khidmat Komuniti. Very happy this morning, because no morning exercise. We had been yelled at by our much-hated "Sarjan Misai" last night, from 10:15 pm up to 11:30 pm, while lined up at attention. And also had to sing the Khidmat Negara theme song in the middle of the night. "Malam-malam buta!" we muttered. Some trainees had been identified for not attending yesterday morning's taklimat about Khidmat Komuniti, and told to line up. I have no idea what time they got to sleep - 1 am?

Breakfast began as usual at 7:15 am and ended at 7:45 am sharp. Thirty minutes, for 600+ trainees. Those who hadn't gotten breakfast yet had no chance. After an hour of lining up under the sun, into the buses. A black trash bag was passed around. I had no idea what was inside, until the trash bag came to me. It had small buns (same size as those KFC buns) inside, individually wrapped, filled with tausa. Each of us took one.

Dropped off at a balai raya about 10 minutes away from UMS. Planted flowers, shaped rocks to form the words "Selamat Datang ke...", that sort of thing. And lunch. UMS supplied each trainee with three (!!!) plastic containers of food. One container held rice Two other containers had two compartments each: a jambu air, egg in tomato sauce, fried chicken, vegetables.

The local people had also prepared some lunch for us. Also, at around 3 pm: kuih! Much fun. We had karaoke, some dance performances, a couple of the usual boring speeches, and very very cute children singing Sandarkan Pada Kenangan. Each trainee was also given a cenderamata: a small vase with the name of the balai raya's area carved onto it, and other interesting patterns.

Stopped by a supermarket on the way back. We bought ice cream, drinks, junk food, and other stuff. At first our faci asked, OK, where do you want to stop? The boys answered, Mana-mana saja, asal ada rokok!

After getting our purchases, headed back to UMS. Some trainees who'd arrived earlier were eating corn (they'd bought some on the way home). Asked around for Khidmat Komuniti stories. Some had gone all the way to Kota Belud (!!!). Others had gone to Tanjung Aru ("Tiada kami buat, duduk-duduk saja"), and also Inanam ("sukaneka dengan sekolah budak-budak jajal").

No night program tonight. Very happy about this! There's supposed to be LDK (latihan dalam kumpulan) every night, but I think that's asking for too much. I hope we stop having morning exercise and night programs. We're out all day, from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm, give us a break.

A friend passed me a Nokia picture message today, of the Khidmat Negara logo. It's getting quite popular, lots of people are passing it around now, and using it as a screensaver. (The Khidmat Negara theme song ringtone, by the way, is losing popularity.)

2004-04-19T17:34:00.000+08:00

After breakfast today, boarded buses to Dewan Kuliah Pusat (DKP) for taklimat about Khidmat Komuniti. My Kolej D were completely uninformed on what to do, and we had to depend on exchanging SMS messages with friends from Kolej A. My friend from Kolej A was the one who informed me that we had to board the buses to DKP. Our facilitators told us nothing. But no, we're not upset because we're getting quite used to it.

Went to the DKP, and got introduced to our new facilitators. One facilitator was a bit annoying: "Tahu tak, adik-adik sedang berada dalam modul Khid-mat Ko-mu-ni-ti? Dalam modul ini, adik-adik akan ke-lu-ar." And so on, slowly saying out words ... so that it would be easier for us to understand, I guess.

The leader of the facilitators, Shamsul, announced to us that 3 trainees in UMS have already been sent to the special camp for NS troublemakers. An extra 2 months. He also said he was happy to announce that so far, none of the 1st intake trainees have been sent to the camp.

We're not supposed to change Khidmat Komuniti groups, but there are those who do anyway. How? Simple. Just find a person who'll agree to swap with you, then assume the other person's identity.

2nd Intake did their kawat this morning with their sports t-shirts, celoreng pants, and combat boots. 1st Intake remains very envious of them ... the only thing we don't envy them about is: they only got to sleep past midnight last night, after having their acara malam up to 11:30 pm.

We got the whole night free last night ... lots of couples walking around, dating. Very interesting.

Group of 34 trainees got caught this morning, coming back into the campus. They'd gone out without permission - security at the gate has been tightened. When the security guard sees someone of about NS age coming in, that person is questioned and asked for name and IC. Some got caught, but 2 of my friends got past successfully ... by giving false names and IC numbers. Punishment, the 34 caught trainees had to dress up in their sports uniforms at 10:30 pm and do kawat nonstop until the soldiers said they could stop. Have no idea what time they stopped kawat. The rumour was that they had been ordered to "kawat sampai pagi".

While sitting outside my block, saw a group of girls carrying a crying girl past, foot bandaged and bleeding badly. A girl was yelling, "Cepat! Cepat! Berlubang sudah kaki dia! Panggil faci!" We all wanted to know what happened but nobody would tell us.

Football match this morning, and also karaoke competition.

2004-04-17T17:44:00.000+08:00

Whole day off today, because of the 2nd/3rd intake moving in/moving out.

Heard about something being on the news last night ... apparently right here in UMS, a trainee got beaten up. They showed videos and everything on TV, too. And on the newspapers, too? I and my friends had no idea, nobody said anything about it to us.

3rd Intake trainees moved out this morning, in their blue sports t-shirts and black pants. Later, the 2nd Intake moved in, wearing their celoreng (fatigues). And yes, everyone in the 1st Intake is very envious of them. They still have their fatigues, and we don't.

But the 1st Intake at Kompleks Sukan Likas have their fatigues!! The fatigues were delivered to them about two weeks ago, and they wear them while kawat / basic drilling on Mondays and Fridays. They have everything except for the combat belts. Very, very envious here.

Finally! The list of all 34 groups (37 or 38 trainees in each group) for Khidmat Komuniti has finally been posted at the Kolej D urusetia office. It's been up at Kolej A since early this week. Everyone was complaining earlier, Why haven't we gotten the list yet? But we're happy now, we have the list.

At night, we were suddenly called out. "Semua pelatih-pelatih Kolej D diminta untuk berkumpul di hadapan pejabat urusetia Kolej D, untuk acara khas." Ended up watching a movie - Resident Evil. Seriously. Of course, a facilitator went to block the projector during the, uhm, racier scenes ... but everyone could see the image projected onto his pants anyway.

Friend from Kompleks Sukan Likas told me that the soldiers there are nuts. One soldier is a bit "gila-gila", and tries to steal trainees' handphones, then sell them to others.